therightnippleofarcher:

a non-exhaustive list of ridiculous shit undyne has done:

• refrain from killing someone she wanted to see dead because they were hiding in grass that alphys likes to use to make ice cream
• whisper “behind you” into an echo flower so she could look cool when ambushing the human she wanted to kill
• stop her monologue halfway because “WHY SHOULD I TELL THAT STORY WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIE” but really she forgot what she was actually going to say
• supplex a boulder in the middle of battle just because she can
• stop in the middle of chasing someone she was trying to kill because they got a phone call
• give someone cooking lessons instead of military training
• obstinately refuse to even be nice to you until papyrus challenges her to become friends with you after which she becomes determined to become BESTIES
• throw a spear at her guest when they tried to get up, breaking her table in half
• “I don’t like cold food so I had alphys make me a fridge that keeps stuff warm”
  
• build a giant sword she saw in an anime once
• say she was a really hot blooded kid as if she’s not fucking hot blooded now
• try to fight the king of all monsters when she was like 10
• clear her kitchen for cooking by jumping on the counter and kicking everything off
• make pasta sauce by punching vegetables to bits
• stir spaghetti by mashing into the pot with a magic spear
• own a stove that can only be turned up never turned down
  
• burn her house down by cooking spaghetti and presumably not for the first time either
• demand to fight an 8 year old in her burning house in an attempt to regain her dignity
• start a pillowfight with papyrus and when he told her not to use the couch pillows she picked up the entire couch to throw at him
• “the trash heap is a great place to pick up girls”
  
• the flattery supplex
• talk to alphys about the weather as an excuse for calling her even though the underground has no weather
• write alphys a love letter that she seals tightly enough to make you need a chainsaw to open it but then forgot to sign it
• slam dunk alphys into a garbage can
• ask an 8 year old for confirmation that anime is real
• this:

cinna–bunny:

therightnippleofarcher:

the best thing about mettaton is that he obviously considers his rectangle form to be irresistibly sexy as much as his EX form because he’s released 28 feature length movies consisting of nothing but rose petals falling on his reclining body and apparently he broke into undyne’s house once just to lie seductively on the piano and feed himself grapes and both of these happened when he was still a calculator with arms

Body positivity at its finest.

Monsters are in tune with their souls. The more pure a monsters soul is, the more beautiful the monster is. mettaton IS a monster. He’s a ghost in a robot body. As egocentric as he is, he still cares deeply about all his fans and family. That’s why he decided not to leave the underground if his fans couldn’t follow because he knows how important to them he is. Mettaton is who people should aspire to be.

These are complete shit but never forget where you start.

zonecassette:

league-of-legends-christmas-boys:

Here we see the difference between a greedy bastard and a kind loving king. Tubbs, the ever greedy, takes the entire bowl and pays you with 20-60 fish. Xerxes IX, the generous and caring royalty, gives nearly the same amount of fish for merely the amount of food that a normal cat consumes. Proof that tubbs is good for nothing.

Yeah, I already proved this dumbass theory wrong here. But if you’re too stubborn to even click the link:

Xerxes is a king, and Tubbs is a commoner. While I certainly appreciate the gifts that Xerxes brings, Tubbs is making a much larger sacrifice. I recall the story of The Widow and the Two Mites from the Gospel of Mark:

⁴¹And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. ⁴²And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. ⁴³And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: ⁴⁴For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

Eat shit. Tubbs gives so much, and Xerxes gives so little.

Man, the neko atsume fandom is getting crazy up in here.

paper-mario-wiki:

Original comic by quicksilver26

Original comic by quicksilver26

Helen, the worst mother, voiced by Karl Harlem

scraps-is-busy:

Oh, is this about Platnium Chip? 

Chip would find a better place and then sell the other one into slavery.

Nah, he would get eaten by snake

trans-mom:

hollowedskin:

trans-mom:

tattoo artist: please stop moving

anti-sjw: why?? am I triggering your delicate tattoo artist sensibilities?? trigger warning: waving arms and logic! you mad bro? huh, you ma - ow ow ow that’s not what the tat is supposed to look like.

as a tattooist please beleive me when i say that i have tattooed this guy before.

i know its satire, but like. you’re not even wrong.

this is both the most enlightening and the saddest addition to my post.

i was exaggerating the best i could, and it turns out to be real. i’m so sorry for you.

someauthorgirl:

xparrot:

The interval between the start and the end of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” is 3 minutes and 30 seconds, and the International Space Station is moving is 7.66 km/s.

This means that if an astronaut on the ISS listens to “I’m Gonna Be”, in the time between the first beat of the song and the final lines …

… they will have traveled just about exactly 1,000 miles.

To be alive, now, in this age.

highmachinegun:

Tumblr: OMG. Undertale makes me want to be a better person.

Artist: *Draws an older Frisk with a feminine/masculine body / headcanons Frisk as a cisgender

Tumblr: