Simply thank me for not making the master pull THIS face in the last update.
YOU AND WARDEN NEED TO BE STOPPED
best mettaton EX headcanons:
- hair is actually solid metal
- 3-fingered mickey mouse-esque hands
- no elbows, just straight up noodle arms
- is missing an eye and has his hair covering it up because alphys is one of those artists that suck at drawing the other eye
- can produce stock sound effects from his chest speaker (like canned laughter/applause, klaxon noises, etc) and does it in normal conversation constantly
- makes the metal gear “!” sound effect when you startle him
Dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh, over the fields we go, laughing all the way AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
He has a nice butt
Undertale au where the whole game is a D&D session and Asriel is the DM
Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.
Asriel: you pet the dog. it was a good dog.
Frisk: i roll to pet th-
Asriel: Frisk you’ve been petting the dog for the past 5 turns you can stop now.
Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.
Asriel: The Absolute God of Hyperdeath casts Galacta Blazing-
Papyrus: I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THAT SPELL IN ANY OF THE RULE BOOKS. OR THIS CHARACTER. OR ANYTHING FROM THIS CAMPAIGN, REALLY.
Asriel: W-well, it’s from the newest edition available online, s-so just hush. Anyway, Frisk, roll for evasion.
Frisk: I rolled a 1.
Asriel: Galacta Blazing strikes you square in the chest, piercing your very soul and dealing 5d8 arcane damage totaling…29 damage after armor and resistance. Your life is brought to -20, killing yo-
Frisk: I roll to resist.
Asriel: What.
Frisk: I roll to resist dying.
Asriel: Frisk you have a Light Armor score of 3 and no magic resistance, how are you going to-
Frisk: My soul is too determined and refuses to die.
Asriel: …Okay, fine. You make one last ditch effort to resist the God of Hyperdeath’s pow-
Papyrus: I LOOKED UP THE LATEST EDITION OF THE RULE BOOKS ONLINE BUT I COULDN’T FIND THE GOD OF HYPERDEATH ANYWHERE, AND GALACTA BLAZING ISN’T IN ANY OF THE SPELL COMPENDIUMS.
Asriel: Papyrus, not now! I’m just about to wi-
Frisk: I rolled a 20.
Asriel: …Your soul refused to die…restoring you to full health…
Other Things To Do To A Drunken Sailor
- Draw a dick on his face in Sharpie
- Add his boss as a friend on Facebook
- Eat the last of his Nutella
- Text his ex with a “U up?” message
- Tell the IRS he owes back taxes
- Log in to gmail and change his password
every single one of these fits the rhythm of the song. i sang each one of them. :D
my mom’s addition was always “hit him in the face with a vick’s inhaler”I don’t know why this is so funny, but it is. Sing it. Go on. I’ll wait.
EAR-LAY IN THA MOOORNIN’!
Remove all of his netflix queue
