“but sex is what makes us human!”
in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his
doctoral dissertation under
heavy mortar fire.
he sends it by mail, a page
at a time, to his wife.
a week before he’s to step up to the podium and
defend his work rather than hiscountry
he is killed in action.
even as the bullets rip
through him he still wishes he could have become a professor
in French literature and
the university awards him a posthumous Ph.D.
sex is
a woman breaks down in tears on the phone because
a week is not enough time to
get over a breakup.
her sister drives an hour across town,
comes up the front steps with
a gallon of ice cream and somebeer
and together they eat moose tracks and marathon
every
single
Godzilla movie
ever made.
sex is
she’s late for work but her car isn’t
starting and even through her coat and hat she’s cold.
she knows she can’t be late again because she’s missed
one time too many already because her
father’s nurse was sick with the flu and someone
needed to help him bathe.
the clock ticks past fifteen after and she hits
the wheel like it’s a heavy bag as though that will help
steps on the gas like the car will go
and wonders how she will pay rent
and how she will feed her father.
sex is
it takes three people to hold the predator down because
even with the cover over his head
a bleeding eye and shattered wing
he is trying to hurt them.
none of them have seen this bird before in their lives but
they bandage his wing and head and give him a painkiller and
put him in a warm place to sleep and heal because
it is right.
at first he is paralyzed and cannot
fly but soon he is taking steps
and then fluttering, and then soaring, and
six months later he is whole and healed and hunting.
once he is gone they never see him again
which means they’ve done their jobs right.
sex is
in 1969 a girl watches grey-and-white footage on her parents’ tinytelevision and
can’t quite believe that what she is seeing is not a movie set but
another planet.
the men on the screen look a little like
aliens with bulbous heads and no faces and fat
marshmallow arms
but they are still men.
her mother puffs on a cigarette behind her and declares that
this is progress
even if it was just a small step.
the girl grows up to be not an astronaut but a secretary
and her boss calls her ‘sweetheart’.
but sex is
a boy is taught that real men don’t cry so
he doesn’t.
when his best friend dies from a self-inflicted
gunshot wound, he locks himself
in the shower every day and sobs under scalding
water until it runs cold
so nobody will see him grieving
so nobody will see that tears are just love that
has no place left to go.
he learns to dull love rather than suppress its expression and
soon the owner of the liquor store knows him by name.
three DUIs, two evictions, and twelve steps later,
he is feeding people at a homeless shelter,
and telling them it’s all right to cry.
Sex is
the broken man tells the comedian
that he didn’t mean to step in front of the car but the rain
made it hard to see.
he seems okay but his leg
does not.
the comedian clutches a grubby receipt with the driver’s
plate number scrawled on the back
in pink pen, stands out in the rain so the broken man
can have his umbrella,
and gives him the comedy routine that ruined his career
so the man doesn’t think about the pain in his leg.
once he’s out of the hospital, the fixed man sends him a thank-you card
with kittens on it.
what makes us human
yawning is contagious,
and there is a species of bird whose young we call “pufflings”.
melodic collections of sound, spaced by silence,
can move us to tears.
the tallest building in the world is
two-thousand seven-hundred and seventeen feet tall.
in less than eighty years we went from our first powered flight
to touching the moon,
and in one-hundred from the first phone call
to instantaneous connection between thinking machines of our owncreation.
we make pies out of tree organs
and let cow’s milk ferment until it hardens and then
we put them together, because apple pie with cheddar cheese isdelicious.
what makes us human is
the earliestfossils of anatomically modern humans are
two-hundredthousand years old .
we have had pet dogs
for sixteen-thousand of those years, longer
than corn
or the wheel.
the steps we take are part of
one of the most energy-efficient gaits the
animal kingdom has ever seen.
we invented the concepts of love
and hate
and justice, and mercy
and we invented the language to convey them.
we sharpened rocks, then metal, to convince other people
who don’t hold the same idea of those things as we do
because we think
it’s right.
we are two hundred millennia of love and disappointment and
sorrow and innovation and
mercy and kindness and dreams
and failure
and recovery.
but sex is what makes us human.
Holy CRAP that’s a good poem
THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE GUYS.
IF YOU ARE A LEGAL ADULT
FUCKING V O T E.
TRUMP IS WINNING
THIS IS HONESTLY SCARY AS SHIT AT THIS MOMENT. IF HE FUCKING WINS, WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US POCS. STOP TAKING THIS AS A FUCKING JOKE.
HONESTLY, IM AFRAID FOR MY FUTURE BECAUSE WHAT IF HE FUCKING DOES BECOME PRESIDENT??? HE WILL MAKE IT HARD FOR US.
YOU GUYS REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING IMPORTANT THIS IS. YOU
C A N N O T
LET TRUMP FUCKING BECOME PRESIDENT. YOUR LETTING SOMEONE WHO CANT EVEN FUCKING TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN BUSINESSES AND WIGS GET INTO OFFICE.
I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE NOT INTO POLITICS. VOTE FOR BERNIE SANDERS.
I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE LAZY, DO IT ANYWAYS.
I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU ARE WHITE, BLACK OR ANY OTHER COLOR.
PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THIS FUCKING STUPID ASS RICH MAN.
PLEASE.
You guys honestly don’t realize how important this is. That stupid ass man is in the lead with votes. You CANNOT let him win. To the people that don’t care, you will most definitely care once he’s in fucking office ruining everything more. You don’t understand how important this is to me. You don’t understand how scary this is for p.o.c .Non Americans, spread this like wild fire! We may not be able to vote, but we can sure as hell spread any and all info we can get our hands on. If Trump wins, America is fucking screwed. POC’s are screwed. Mexico and Canada are screwed (he plans to build walls to block us off from them. America is, at least, one of Canada’s biggest trade partners. Do you know how fucked we can be if connections are cut off?) Voting and politics is no fucking joke. Treat this with maturity and responsibility. Even if you never vote again, make this coming election count!!
Wow these are nudes for people of color and this just goes to show how they associate shades of brown as being “ugly”
If you choose to accept it. Give Donald Trump the Bennigans Cummerbund and Icky Azaghâl treatment and come up with increasingly ridiculous plays on his name. And (this is critical), NEVER USE HIS REAL NAME AGAIN. Can you imagine the Twitter meltdown if he found out that everyone had taken to calling him ridiculous names? It would be glorious.
Dumbold Tramp.
Dernald Frump
Dingdong Trashbag
donger trumpet
motherfucker
dildo testicle
Doornail Turnip
dangledong tripod
Plugged his name into an anagram generator. Here are some highlights.
- Lad Dump Torn
- Mr. Pond Adult
- Land Dump Rot
- Turd Mop Land
- Mad Plod Runt
- Damp Old Runt
- Damn Turd Lop
- Lamp Don Turd
- DAMP DOLT URN
- MR. ODD NUT PAL
- DAMP NUT LORD
comedy gold tbh
Donglord Chump
dingle pumps
Dingleberry Tornado
Doorknob Tubthumper
Daffy Stump
KIRK THIS WHY YOU GOTTA FILL OUT THE LOG
I’ve heard the theory that Kirk’s logs just get circulated round headquarters for lulz before being dumped in the circular file as obvious fabrications by someone bored with a frontier posting.
“Hey, have you seen this one? He says he fought Apollo.”
“What, the old earth probe?”
“Try the old earth GOD!”
“Hilarious! Classic Kirk! That’s better than the time when he was transported to an evil dimenison.”
The reason why in The Naked Now it was Riker who remembered that the previous polywater infection had happened is that he’s the sort of person who would read The Hilarious Adventures of Captain Kirk for fun.I especially like this idea because of the implication that all the other captains in Starfleet are reporting perfectly ordinary experiences like visiting a space station, dropping off supplies at a colony, bit of a stand-off with some Klingons in disputed space but got out of it unscathed - and then there’s Kirk all, “sorry guys we’ve been off course this week because my first officer seriously needed to get laid (LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA MY NECK STILL HURTS)” and “let me tell you about the Chicago Gangster planet” and “WHIPPED AND THROWN IN JAIL BY SPACE NAZIS.”
I actually really like the above explanation
“So wait, they stole his first officer’s brain?”
“What do you MEAN he just stumbled upon earths most notorious war criminal and just…LEFT HIM on a random planet”
“That’s what it says here
And then the rest of it is just ‘KHAAAAAAAAAAAN’ written across two sheets of A4″
“You need to tell Kirk to stop making this nonsense up”
In one of the New Frontier books, it IS actually apparently a subject of debate at 24th century Starfleet command how accurate Kirk’s logs can be considered because of how outlandish they are. Admiral Jellico (yes, THAT Jellico) told Captain Calhoun how he had a hard time believing him when he said a bird hatched out of a planet (just roll with it). Calhoun responded that Kirk witnessed weird crap like this all the time, Jellico responded that it was suspected that much of Kirk’s logs (including the giant space amoeba fight) are a fabrication.
“Hey sir we just got a bunch of reports and logs from Captain James Kirk, what should I do with it?”
“Throw it in the Crank file I’ll read it later when something to laugh at.”
Shatner wrote a series of books where the Borg bring Kirk back to life to fight Picard in the Aftermath of Star Trek Generations.
If you take into account both of these things… That means the borg got a hold of Kirk’s logs, and where the first to actually believe him.
This also leads to the funny imagery of several Star Fleet Captains laughing when they find this out.“The Borg seriously believed that Kirk fought God?”
“Oh, next be believing he went back in time and had to kill his girlfriend before she let the Nazi’s win WW2.”
The new animal crossing game looks amazing
Animal crossing 5 : the phantom pain
Is that watership down?
There’s a term for faking an illness it’s called Malingering. Malingering patients usually exaggerate their symptoms, like an armature actor making too big movements to try and fit their role.
Also, shadow people are usually seen most in meth addicts, so uh. If someone says they seeing shadow people, you should be concerned.Ok..that is SUPER not okay.
To use drug addiction as a possible reason for hallucinations?
Fuck that thats a horrible thing to say!
Alright I’m sorry to put this on someone’s dash but what. Because someone is seeing shadows GASP oh they might be doing meth!!!1! Stop. You’re basically calling schizophrenic people possible meth addicts and apparently thats why someone gets their hallucinations. Blaming them on drug addiction. NICE.
As a schizophrenic person, I have seen shadow people a lot and what not but never once have I taken meth.
I agree with the first statement about people faking mental illnesses but the “exaggerating” thing is such bullshit. When I was at the hospital, there was a fellow schizophrenic kid who reacts more than me. He screams and runs or covers his eyes, or ears. He even cowers in the corner, but he has the same thing as me yet I never done anything like that besides cower in the corner, so “exaggeration” is bullshit. That’s like saying you can suspect a person who is depressed that sleeps for long times everyday or doesnt bath nor change is exaggerating rather than another person who is also depressed that doesnt do any of those. Mental Illnesses are different for everyone and effect everyone differently, that boy who was with me in the hospital did not fake or exaggerate simply because he reacts to it more than me so yeah.
“If someone says they are seeing shadow people, you sould be concerned” … that is possibly the worse thing you can ever say. So you’re saying that anyone who sees shadows, it’s safe to assume that they are on meth and drugs? That’s fucking stupid. Fun fact; Mental illnesses develop and the things you get from drugs are side effects that most of the time don’t stay. Unless they take it for a long time but to assume that people who hallucinate and see shadow people, like Schizophreniacs or Sleep paralysis patients
Schizophrenia can be caused by Genetics, Environment or Different brain chemistry and structure. As well as Sleep paralysis patients so assuming that drug use is the main reason for someone to be seeing shadow people is just, well, I dont want to sound like a whiny SJW but, sounds pretty fuckin’ ableist to me.PS: Here are your sources
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/schizophrenia/index.shtml
http://www.m.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/sleep-paralysis
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Schizophrenia/Pages/Causes.aspx
http://m.livescience.com/50876-sleep-paralysis.html
