Silver Tongue

ichiwashername-o:

xenodile:
determinedtomato:
Undertale au where the whole game is a D&D session and Asriel is the DM
Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.
Asriel: you pet the dog. it was a good dog.
Frisk: i roll to pet th-
Asriel: Frisk you’ve been petting the dog for the past 5 turns you can stop now.
Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.
Asriel: The Absolute God of Hyperdeath casts Galacta Blazing-
Papyrus: I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THAT SPELL IN ANY OF THE RULE BOOKS. OR THIS CHARACTER. OR ANYTHING FROM THIS CAMPAIGN, REALLY.
Asriel: W-well, it’s from the newest edition available online, s-so just hush. Anyway, Frisk, roll for evasion.
Frisk: I rolled a 1.
Asriel: Galacta Blazing strikes you square in the chest, piercing your very soul and dealing 5d8 arcane damage totaling…29 damage after armor and resistance. Your life is brought to -20, killing yo-
Frisk: I roll to resist.
Asriel: What.
Frisk: I roll to resist dying.
Asriel: Frisk you have a Light Armor score of 3 and no magic resistance, how are you going to-
Frisk: My soul is too determined and refuses to die.
Asriel: …Okay, fine. You make one last ditch effort to resist the God of Hyperdeath’s pow-
Papyrus: I LOOKED UP THE LATEST EDITION OF THE RULE BOOKS ONLINE BUT I COULDN’T FIND THE GOD OF HYPERDEATH ANYWHERE, AND GALACTA BLAZING ISN’T IN ANY OF THE SPELL COMPENDIUMS.
Asriel: Papyrus, not now! I’m just about to wi-
Frisk: I rolled a 20.
Asriel: …Your soul refused to die…restoring you to full health…
Frisk: I buy a hot dog.
Asriel: you can’t buy a hot dog you don’t have enough bag space.
Sans: I put the hot dog on his head.
Asriel: …
Sans: I roll to put the hot dog on Frisk’s head.
Asriel: you put the got dog on Frisk’s head.
Frisk: I want another hot dog.
Sans: I put another hot dog on his head.
Asriel: *internal screaming*

currentlyacceptingcuddles:

ARE YOU A BONE OR BLOOD PERSON.
ARE YOU A VOID OR ABYSS PERSON.
ARE YOU A ROT OR DUST PERSON.

commanderchrist:

gucciballs:
Tumblr Year Review: we’ve collected the top 4 tumblr posts of the year so far, and look back on all the great fun times we’ve had
Honorable Mention:

rogerogeroger:

sacculetta:
preoccupiedpepper:
vaspider:
sherlockspuppycat:
wilwheaton:
the-future-now:
Netflix’s new site is a giant “f*ck you” to Comcast and Time Warner
Netflix launched a site late Wednesday night called Fast.com, where — in one click — anyone browsing the internet can see how fast their internet speed is. Although it’s great for consumers, some internet providers might not be happy about the new website.
Follow @the-future-now
Fuck Comcast
Netflix didn’t invent that it’s been around
Netflix didn’t invent speed checks, but this site is Netflix’s.
Okay, so here’s why Netflix speedtest is so brilliant.
Most of us know about Speedtest.net, right? Well Comcast and Time Warner know about it too. They know customers use it to check to see if they’re getting what they are paying for. Comcast techs even tell customers to check their speed with Speedtest.net.
So, to make sure people think they are getting good speeds, Comcast and Time Warner prioritize traffic going to Speedtest.net. When you check your speed there it’s artificially inflated. That is NOT the speed you are getting when you browse tumblr and that is definitely not the speed you get when you watch Netflix.
Comcast and Time Warner can not artificially inflate the results by prioritizing traffic to Fast.net unless they also prioritize traffic to Netflix, and they definitely do not want to do that.
That is so fucking slimy. Good for Netflix
hell yeah, this battle has been ongoing for fuckin years, good deal Netflix