THOU = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE FUCKING DOING SOMETHING.
THEE = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SOMETHING FUCKING DONE TO YOU.
THY = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING CONSONANT.
THINE = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING VOWEL.
IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE SHITTY OLD ENGLISH TEXT POSTS, DO IT RIGHT.
Thine octopus
Doth thy mother know thou wereth her drapes?
I’ve just been reading people freaking out at Target in the US no longer labeling their toys “girls” and “boys”. A fairly common response is something like “How will I know what to get my granddaughter for her birthday if I don’t know which are the girl’s toys?” Hmm, well, what does your granddaughter like? Maybe you could actually get to know her and find out what her interests are rather than treating her as a generic representative of her assigned gender. Just a thought.
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!
I have never been more ashamed by anything but,
I want
to go to Dismaland.
I want to clarify, I legitimately have no idea what kind of Message Banksy is trying to communicate.
But a skeleton spinning around in a bumper car in the dark to “Staying Alive” is 100% my idea of a good time.
Does Banksy even know what message he’s trying to get across anymore?
