mayipleaseusethebathroom:

erinnightwalker:

geostatonary:

sixpenceee:

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”

(Source)

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”

“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”

“PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”

“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia.

One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless.

For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura.

When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch.

is that a scarehuman?

deyogee:

tales of symphonia more like i’m gonna fuck the half elf

lizzymodblog:

rustywidget:

lizzymodblog:

conspicuouslad:

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

Uh, no, this is bullshit. Brown eyes are dominant over blue eyes, yes, but that doesn’t mean that people with blue eyes do not have the code in their DNA. Every single person is coded with every single trait, whether it shows or not.

Actually, yeah, now that you mention it, you could say that both parents are heterozygous for their eye colour, so while their fenotype may have resulted in blue eyes, they could still have passed on a recessive gene for brown eyes.

I mean, they apparently didn’t, as according to the OP the kid actually was adopted, but oh well.

Other way around; the blue gene is recessive. Blue-eyed people can’t be heterozygous, they have to be homozygous blue.

Oh… well then it wouldn’t be possible, like the post says, right? Cause if they’re recessive homozygous for blue eyes, they don’t have a dominant brown gene to pass on. So what the post says is true.

Fucking genetics how do they work.

But the alternative is that the wife cheated with a brown eyed man who is the real father.

lizzymodblog:

conspicuouslad:

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

Uh, no, this is bullshit. Brown eyes are dominant over blue eyes, yes, but that doesn’t mean that people with blue eyes do not have the code in their DNA. Every single person is coded with every single trait, whether it shows or not.

Actually, yeah, now that you mention it, you could say that both parents are heterozygous for their eye colour, so while their fenotype may have resulted in blue eyes, they could still have passed on a recessive gene for brown eyes.

I mean, they apparently didn’t, as according to the OP the kid actually was adopted, but oh well.

jakelionstumblr:

princekheldar:

sniffing:

my-american-whore-story:

Bernie Sanders, who is pushing to raise minimum wage to $15 per hour, only pays his interns $12 per hour.

Source: www.sanders.senate.gov/services/internships#paid

internships are a way to gain experience and a lot of them don’t even pay i don’t really see the issue tbqh

#1) that’s still 5 more dollars an hour than minimum
#2) He is not as well supported as other candidates
#3) Said other candidates often DON’T PAY THEIR INTERNS SINCE THEY DON’T HAVE TO
#4) get the fuck out of here with that shit

Hahaha yeah “The guy who wants to raise minimum from $8 to $15/hr pays the people that usually get $0 a whole $12/hr″

Like your shitty insult was more of like a complement to Bernie so haha nice

setokaibathesolitairechampion:

From the producers who saw Shrek

babylonian:

who’s gonna break the news to her that her dad is nicolas cage

I think she will find out if he ever encounters bees or sees the deceleration of independence.

sharksocks:

I ruined a Sonic amiibo and a Pikachu amiibo in the best way possible.

No, it’s cool. The arms are the same yellow as the fur.

stoned-levi:

deducethegay:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

sorayachemaly:

zukoscar:

ryncoon:

mousepunker:

the-philosophers-bone:

itrhymeswithalayne:

people have no idea what its like to be 14 and have everyone telling you that you’re faking and pretending to be ill for attention or to skip art class and the doctor’s telling you you’re ‘just being a teenager’ when you actually had a serious kidney disease

if someone hadn’t eventually listened to me i would have died

Please, please support self-diagnosed teenagers, don’t pretend they’re not really disabled, don’t belittle or mock them, don’t exclude them from disabled spaces and for the love of god don’t pretend you know more about them than they do

i am disabled to this day because when i was a teenage girl, my doctors didn’t take me seriously. when i said i was in extreme pain, they said i just wasn’t trying hard enough at physical therapy to repair a broken ankle. turns out they’d fucked up the surgery to fix it, and their neglect of my months of complaints meant it was damaged beyond repair. i still have mobility issues 8 years later, will have pain and require surgeries throughout my life and will, always, be disabled. because of them. because of the silencing of girls’ voices, in all spheres. because doctors do not value the voices of teenaged girls.

When I was twelve, the knee specialist I had finally convinced my mom to take me to (after years of begging) told me that my knees hurt because of my hips widening.

“No,” I said. “You don’t understand. I can’t walk when it happens, it hurts so bad. It’s been since I was a little kid.”

“It might twinge a bit, sure,” he told me. “Go to physical therapy for a few weeks.” I burst into tears.

My mom then refused to take me to physical therapy, because it was a long drive and the doctor said it wasn’t serious, so why should she bother? That was the start of her not listening to any complaint about my joints I ever had.

As it turns out, my knees were dislocating every couple of days. She and my doctors ignored and taught me to ignore sprains, fractures, cartilage tears, and dislocations until I moved out and learned that it wasn’t normal. I missed out on years of my life because of my doctor not only discounting the experience of a young girl, but fully blaming my pain on the fact of my being a young girl.

Listen to children when they tell you something is wrong with their bodies.

I had stomach pains for years as a kid. Almost daily. I was blamed as a faker. 

I have Celiac.

People know what the hell is going on with their own bodies. If they don’t think something is right fucking listen to them.

In their study, “The Girl Who Cried Pain: A Bias Against Women in the Treatment of Pain,” researchers Diane E. Hoffmann and Anita J. Tarzian documented the degree to which girl’s and women’s pain is routinely dismissed as the “not real,” “emotional,” response of “fragile” females. Not only are girls and women who experience pain less likely to be taken seriously when they describe it, but they are less likely to be treated by medical professionals.

*waves the flag of Disabled Because Parents/Doctors Wouldn’t Listen/Believe/Care*

i was told my celiac disease was period cramps when i was in hosptial lol thanks doc

My male doctor denies my request to be put on antidepressants because if I ever want to have children in my adult life, I’ll have to stop taking them during pregnancy. I’m 18. 😬

(Not when I was a teen but still relevant) When I was about 5 or so, I fell really hard on my leg. It hurt a lot but my dad told me to walk it off. I complained about it hurting for 3 days before he finally took me to the hospital where lo and behold, my foot bone was broken.

He also ignored my sister when she was 17 and complaining about toe pains when her toe was broken.

really, my dad doesn’t give a shit if your bones are broken until you complain about it for days.

conspicuouslad:

I can show you the world~