Me on a date: so how do you feel about Nicki Minaj?
Them: oh she's a whore, and everything about her is fake
Me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: sorry but I have to go home right now immediately

snazzapplesweet:

micspam:

shrexy:

imreallycoolandfriendly:

which do u think would win in a fight??? discuss

the first dog clearly has years of fighting experience and possesses the stern, quiet dominance of a master, but his age could prove disadvantageous when pitted against the raw power of the second dog.  there’s clearly something brutal and furious burning inside him, and he walks with a carelessness that hints at his true berserker nature.  the first dog’s technique will have to be flawless if he hopes to avoid being annihilated

I fucking hate this post. It’s fucking bullshit. Tell me, in what fucking universe do you exist in where raw anger and strength will overcome a seasoned master of fighting. No Fuck this. The first dog has 10,000 years of experience under his belt just look at that beard. The other dog is some angry stupid asshole and he will get his ass kicked. Fuck you and Fuck you for making me look at the url “shrexy”

image

here for this 

madredenutrias:

youngharlemnigga:

is-doitsu-an-instrument:

party-wok:

whatevernathan:

Never forget

I still struggle to believe that this was a real thing.

Notice how after Dashcon, nobody ever writes “Imagine a tumblr convention!!1!!1″ anymore.

Lmao

July 12th
Remember

jwblogofrandomness:

I know this is supposed to be two different screenshots, but on my dashboard it looks like Buster has got four arms.

Buster, you’re a fusion!?

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
javertsconfusedboner:
“thesassylorax:
“ralfmaximus:
“nonespark:
“supergameboytwo:
“if he is their creator he must atone for his crimes
”
the biggest, cash-grabbingest continuity error of them all
”
THIS is my biggest problem with the Minions…...

javertsconfusedboner:

thesassylorax:

ralfmaximus:

nonespark:

supergameboytwo:

if he is their creator he must atone for his crimes

the biggest, cash-grabbingest continuity error of them all

THIS is my biggest problem with the Minions… thing. 

Gru created the minions by literally re-engineering corn kernels.

The sheer, naked greed of retconning the minions into their own franchise… it’s sick. It’s wrong. It’s unnecessary

That’s what made his connection with them so powerful in the original movie. He knew EVERY SINGLE ONE’S name, because HE created them. 

This. This is a valid criticism of the Minion movie, and I can whole-heartedly accept this.

rosexknight:

apostatehamster:

talking with your friends about your favorite characters like

image
image

Me and dracini 

Me and kilalabunnies