rosexknight:

usagi-zakura:

rosexknight:

Dude NO ONE is cut out for retail. And you don’t start that way. Some people are better for it than others but you’re never “cut out” for it. You get used to it.

Unless you’re “cut out” to be a whipping boy for your company, rude to by customers, yelled at by customers, and generally not treated like an actual human by them you’re not cut out for it. You just get used to it. Which is bullshit.

How to be cut out for retail (at least according to the costumers at the Wallmartish store I used to work at…):

- You have to know the exact price of EVERY ITEM in the store. Even if the store is huge and sells everything from cookies to electric saws.

- You have to know the exact location of every item in the store.

- You have to know how to use every item in the store (even if…as mentioned…we had both tools, cleaning articles and food).

- If something is sold out, you should be carrying it in your pocket. Since you know…sold out doesn’t mean we’re SOLD OUT or anything. 

- You have to know in advance EXACTLY how many of any given item will be sold before ordering, so you don’t get sold out during a sale. (We sold literally 8 tons of firewood in three hours once…HOW DO YOU PREPARE FOR THAT?) Regardless if you were the one ordering it or not. If its sold out its the fault of the nearest employee. 

- Don’t let the cash register crash for no reason. So what if its a Windows PC that is indeed prone to crashing at unexpected moments? Don’t let it do that.

- You have to speak every language in the world in case an immigrant or tourist comes by who’s not very good at Norwegian or English. 

- Be a robot. Because human beings are not cut out for this line of work. 

…Seriously though everyone should work in retail once in their lives. Especially a large busy store in the middle of December. Maybe then you’d be less of a dick to those who have to work there all year. 

THIS ALL DAY LONG

tangite:

this is the worst punchline ive ever made

At first I thought pearl was acting like “Oh my god she’s trying to steal rose away from me”

uberchain:

As has been standard since the birth of Miss Pauling, it’s not uncommon to see her with a writing tool as well as an object to write on - commonly picked from fandom as a clipboard and a pen. In Miss Pauling’s ED debut, we see that secretarial role within her props as she pulls out a small notebook towards the ending.

On the main menu screen of TF2 for the Gun Mettle update, Miss Pauling’s got a dossier and a sharpie, again a nod to the clipboard and pen. This was done as a reference to the contracts you’ll receive throughout the campaign, which are stylized as dossiers with photos and some notes that you have to decode first.

Absolutely none of what I said is relevant to her props or the Gun Mettle campaign. You’re not getting that exact folder Miss Pauling is holding in-game, ever. Why? What is Miss Pauling’s top secret stuff?

The dossier she’s holding is the same dossier from Meet the Spy.

A closeup of the model from the SFMBeta files for further inspection confirms this.

Miss Pauling’s top secret stuff is Scout’s Mom.

why224:

These ARE my squad goals

guildmarm:

takashi0:

rakkuguy:

senpatriarchy:

These are fucking great

MORE

I’M DYING OF LAUGHTER

these are the fucking best

fuck-customers:

I work at a Well known pizza shop and ever since the bacon wrapped deep dish became a thing people have been coming into our store non stop.

Anyways, the bacon wrapped deep dish is only Hot n Ready between 4 and 8 pm, which means that between those times customers can come in and it will already be ready making their time in the store generally less than 1 minute.

HOWEVER, if they want to order certain products that aren’t hot and ready yet they can, but it will generally be a wait between 5 to 15 minutes depending on what they order. Of course this is a huge issue for people because they can’t fathom having to wait for something in their life.

So anyways, a customer called our store and asked to order a bacon wrapped deep dish for pick up at 2PM, and obviously this was no problem because he called well ahead. For some reason, he showed up at 1:40 and obviously his pizza wasn’t ready because it takes 10 minutes to cook and it hadn’t even been put in the oven yet (for maximum freshness). I was on my break so unfortunately my coworker had to deal with him and she started apologizing profusely when he started yelling at her and complaining about how his order wasn’t ready and the whole reason why he called ahead was that he didn’t have to wait. So my coworker told him that when his pizza is ready she will give him free bread to make up for the mistake.
Anyways, she comes back to me in the store and explains the situation asking if I could remind her when we have phone orders next time because the customer was overly rude, and I was like ok no absolutely not, he said he was coming at 2 and it’s not even 145 yet. So when the customer came back I walked up front and handed him his pizza and he just looked at me and I said with a blank stare “what?” because he wasn’t going away. And hes like “Um? Don’t I get some free bread because you guys made me wait?” and I WAS SO HAPPY HE ASKED because I smiled and said “Nah. I was the person you were talking to on the phone. You said 2PM, you showed up twenty minutes early. You yelled at my coworker and called her derogatory terms, so you can just leave my store without anything else.” The look on his face was priceless. He actually started apologizing for his behaviour and said that he didn’t realize he said 2PM and then tipped me and my coworker $10. Ah, sometimes I don’t mind my job

brightestbiochemist:

#i know they kinda did this by accident in the first avengers  #but i wanna know  #like were they just hanging out one day  #drinking a couple of beers and talking about freedom and patriotism  #when thor just sits straight up  #‘bro’  #steve looks over at him ‘yeah bro’  #‘B R O’  #‘what bro?’  #‘bro i have an idea’  #’ b roooo’  #and then they destroyed like half of central park testing this out  #they just look at each other  #‘BROOOOOOOO’  #like they get all the other avengers out there  #to show them what the broteam has figured out  #natasha looks thoroughly unimpressed like ‘you two are idiots’  #and clint and tony are practically giddy with how cool that was  #bruce is frantically apologizing to just about every cop/firefighter in the city  #and in the middle of all of it  #there’s steve and thor  #doing their super secret broshake and looking super proud of themselves  #secretly singing to each other  #‘EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOMMEE’  #‘EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU’RE PART OF A TEAM’  #‘EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOOMMEE’  #‘WHEN UR LIVIN DA DREAM’  #‘br o’  #‘b ro’  #‘i love you bro’ (tags courtesy of tzaarina)

angryblackman:

angryblackman:

what will new york do when the cockroaches and the rats eventually form a pact, and become a gang that overruns the city?

Welp.

venuselectrificata:

i’ve been trying to decide why “this is the kind of content i like to see!” is so consistently hilarious to me. i’m thinking it might be something about the appropriated corporate language? and how we’re using it to fuel tumblr-patented sad meme entropy? you know, the recentish shift in media from “journalism” (which has a vague veneer of intellectual respectability - think 60 minutes, the ny times, etc.) to “content,” which is a lot more like “stuff that takes up space.” buzzfeed. upworthy. and, technically, memes.

when a tumblr user says this in response to…i dunno, an picture of an iguana version of their favorite character, or whatever, it’s a comment on specificity, in a lot of cases. i know i use it when i find something that seems very carefully tailored to my interests. you know, at the center of a venn diagram with three or four seemingly-disparate circles. i am claiming somethign a success for my own personal focus group of one. i am voicing my approval for the corporate overlords that watch us, asking for them to generate more images of dogs wearing sunglasses or the rock with various foodstuffs.

it feels like a game. like we’re trying to confuse the dennyses of the world. what are the kids into now? the skeleton war? sonic? bath bombs? everything is content in 2015: macaroni and cheese is content. trees are content. we ourselves are content. baffling-ass content