gay marriage became constitutional on the anniversary of the publication of the first harry potter book
“if another man can make your woman laugh, you’ve lost her”
tbh if you don’t want your girl to ever laugh or smile if she’s not around you, you don’t need a girlfriend. ur creepy and possessive.
the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
Context to the story:
The girl cut her hair once so that she could have bangs. The mother disapproved and decided to cut off 15" of her hair as punishment. The girl later again decided to change her hair style and the above was the result; she shaved her daughters head.
Having a few personal experiences with this kind of invasive behaviour it really hurts to see someone go through these kinds of things, where the parent tries to live vicariously through their childs life, to attempt to shape them and make their decisions for them depending on what THEY would do and give their child NO independence or self expression.
Thankfully, this mother thought her actions were 100% justifiable and posted it to Facebook as a bit of a “haha, teach my kid a lesson” and has been hit with brutal recrimination from her community and has had visits from Child Protective Services.
For so many young (and older) girls their hair is their self expression, and in several months I hope this girl will have hers back.
Children are not their parent’s possessions.
Children are NOT their parents’ possessions.
CHILDREN ARE NOT THEIR PARENTS’ POSSESSIONS!!!
what the fuck
tarot card reader: *pulls out a deck of pokemon cards* lets see… mr. mime here says you may be facing financial difficulties real soon
me: what is this
tarot card reader: just a joke to lighten the mood. *pulls out a deck of yugioh cards* now lets get started
