banjobutch:

jooferslannister-deactivated202:

banjobutch:

A few years back my dad and I went to this kitschy tourist trap in York called the York Dungeon that was basically a series of live action Horrible Histories vignettes and one of them was a crooked court where the judge would call guests up, ask where they were from, and read out their crimes before passing judgement. My dad got picked and the judge asked where he was from and when he said “Texas” the judge immediately declared him guilty and sentenced him to death

I asked you to not talk about my time as a medieval judge 

I will avenge my father you vile Italian

tastefullyoffensive:

One roll to rule them all

ishiftedinsidepapi:

bilbao-moon:

merriamlloydwebster:

bilbao-moon:

day one of quarantine. i’ve gathered my most glamorous friends with the most shocking secrets to my secluded mansion. but there’s been a mysterious murder…….

irresponsible gathering. im calling the police

there was also a murder

tuomey:

dispatchfromsomewhere:

exih:

BRO WHAT….

I don’t even play Minecraft and I can tell this man has done the impossible

if they ever make a live action minecraft movie and it doesn’t include this scene they’ve fucked up

mrbrojangles:

bellanicole422:

D

eroticcannibal:

sniddies-snake-tiddies:

lagtim3:

cats-and-cacti:

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

@fandomlife-confessions 

Fact! Uteruses come prepackaged with half a lifetime’s supply of eggs. Balls produce sperm on-demand. This means there would have been about a two-month period where Jacob found himself inexplicably VERY gay for Edward.

wait I thought Stephanie Meyers made it canon that Edward can’t produce new sperm and the warm water of the ocean warmed up his sac enough for him to impregnate Bella.

So in all Jacob should’ve been gay for Edward all along

The warm water of the ocean did what now

geekandmisandry:

Remember when I said that I couldn’t think of anything more embarrassing than getting in the news for fighting over toilet paper? Yeah, never mind.