This drives me mad. I used to work in a bookstore, and was talking to my coworker and he just yelled out “stop flirting with me!” at this ridiculous volume and it was humiliating because 1. I wasn’t 2. I got in trouble for acting unprofessional 3. He embarrassed me in front of a line of people 4. And he only stopped insisting that I was flirting when my boyfriend (who is now my husband) said, “dude, trust me, she’s not flirting with you” to him
That asshole respected my BOYFRIEND saying I wasn’t flirting more than he respected me saying it and I was the one who was talking! The whole scene got me in trouble at work. And the most ridiculous part is we were talking about a fucking book. In a bookstore.
One time, my ex boyfriend had a crush on some girl, and said that he thought he might have “a chance” with her.
When I asked him what made him think that, he said “Well, she talks to me.”
And this is why it is so difficult to be a girl and be friends with men who are attracted to women.
Can we also add that this is why a lot of women do the resting bitch face when out in public. Cause dudes swear a glance or a smile is flirting.
So yesterday something that perfectly illustrates this happened. I work at a fast food place and this guy comes in at 7am on a Sunday, still probably drunk from the night before, and when I smiled and said goodmorning he said “Did you just say that because you’re being paid to say that?”
I repressed my urge to sarcastically answer, and said “Nope, I just enjoy saying hi to everyone!” To which he responded, “Oh, so you weren’t flirting with me then.”
Dude, I’m not flirting with your gross 7am-on-a-Sunday-ass, trust me.
My defense mechanism when I’m uncomfortable at work is to smile, so I did that and said “Is there anything I can get you this morning?” to which he responded,
“There, you just smiled! What does that mean?”
At this point I was fed up, so I said,
“I smile at everyone sir, its just what I do. What can I get you, coffee, a bagel?”
And he said “I’m gonna be watching to see if you smile at everyone. I don’t like it when girls lie to me” and then ordered a coffee and a muffin like he hadn’t just said something at 11 on the “Is this guy a serial rapist” scale (where 0 is ‘no’ and 10 is ‘Yes, run away as fast as you can right now.”).
Then he sat there for another hour and a half, staring at me from his table. When he got up and left he came back to the counter, and said “You do smile at everyone. That’s fucked up.” and walked out.
I can’t even be innocuously polite and pleasant to people at my job (where customer service is the number one thing we are supposed to be focusing on) for fear of this shit happening. What happens if he had decided to wait until my shift was over?
New Rule: If she’s at work, SHE’S NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU.
Guys, stop bothering women while they’re working. You’re just being annoying. People have jobs to do that aren’t related to you, and the world doesn’t revolve around your fragile, desperate egos.
and please don’t ask us when we get off. It sends the creep alarm all the way off.
Here’s my story: I was in a bookstore as a customer, with my partner. I went to the counter to ask for a book and my partner trailed along behind me. The guy tells me where I can find it and as I walk away to get it he says to my partner “did you see that hot chick flirting with me, I’m gonna hit that later” to which my partner replied “that’s my fucking wife.”
Asking you to do your job is not flirting.
One time at work I found out that a male coworker thought I was “in love” with him. I literally just had conversations with him like I would with all my other coworkers. But no, apparently that meant I must be in love with him. I don’t understand why guys think that being civil is flirting?? Every time I have been friends with a guy there is always a point when they’ll either ask me “are you flirting with me?” or “do you have a crush on me??”. Why do you assume that just because I’m treating you like a human being then I MUST want to jump your bones. Your egos need to calm the fuck down tbh.
When I was a barista as Starbucks I constantly had guys taking drinks and giving me a creepy smile or asking if I made it special for them.
Trust me dude, your half-caf vanilla latte is no more special than the person behind you.
This is such a long post but YES. I got this for 10 years and retail. You’re trained to smile and be polite. You HAVE to or you get in trouble. The amount of dudes that have mistaken that for flirting… Boggles the mind.
I ALSO used to work in a bookstore and would get this shit all the time. There was one guy who came in to clean at night, I’d see him when I came in early for my shift and I’d just say hello and smile politely. THAT’S IT. And for that he started asking me out ALL THE TIME and I would turn him down EVERY TIME. I got so uncomfortable I had to tell the manager about it and he just rolled his eyes like “whatever”.
The worst part is, when you try to tell other people about this problem they sometimes accuse you of “bragging” or being full of yourself for thinking men are always hitting on you. HAHA, the patriarchy means YOU CAN’T WIN.
Okay, reblogging for everything but the last comment struck me. As most of my followers know, my plan in life was basically ruined by being sexually harassed and having to drop out of college and having to be placed in therapy. Thankfully, things are going well, but I just wanna hold up and talk more about this.
When I first told my parents about the situation, one of the things they both told was I SHOULD be taking it as a compliment. It was horrifying to me to even consider since I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t even go outside and had panic attacks almost every day. Like… compliments DON’T cause that reaction in a person. Also I’ve had several people like “Oh well at least guys pay attention to you! You get asked out so often and I never have! You shouldn’t be complaining about that.” and it’s like aight…. okay… but you’ve missed the whole point. I don’t choose to be approached by men, it just happens and it’s TERRIFYING. I don’t want it and I don’t want YOU to have to deal with it either! I’m done with the whole “Oh, you’re a pretty girl, what kind of problems could you possibly have?” kind of attitude floating around. We have the short end of the stick here as a whole, all women do, not just “conventionally beautiful” ones. Girls need to support girls with issues like this and not just breed jealousy/act like we’re all in competition. Also people in general need to learn what real compliments are.
Kinda derailed a tad from the original content of the post, but at least it’s related.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
