Silver Tongue

acoolsuggestion:

boy: *is literally 1 year younger than me*
boy: *hits on me*
me: thanks…… but…. no thanks…. i’m old enough to be your mother……..

inkerton-kun:

when a videogame boss’s health is “????”

“I can’t pay you, but it would be great exposure.”

animatorlife:

Originally posted by lowerthat2k

Why Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine is Actually Way Better Than The 2016 Deadpool »

Huh. Never thought about it that way.

carnivalofmuses:

gamerwithamasterplan:
Well, Krabs, you know what today is? Sorry about this calender…
March 14?
WAIT! That’s not right!
It should say…
THE DAY THAT KRABS FRIES!
Reblog while you still can before Krabs fries!

necromancyprince:

imagine being at a bernie sanders rally and suddenly danny devito takes the podium and starts talking about obi wan kenobi

Bernie knows how to win votes without lying to win over certain groups

dongstomper:

randamhajile:
Nerd in the 1970s: “want to watch Star Trek re-runs in my basement and then read some Asimov?”
Nerd today: “which way to the Undertale orgy”
nerd in the 1200s: “is anybody else here literate”

little-isaac:

sheisrecovering:
masturbating is a safe and healthy way to explore your own sexuality. it can improve your self esteem, reduce stress, relieve cramps, and it can help you sleep. do not feel shame. masturbating is normal and good for your health.
Phew 😌

judyhopping:

“ You know you love me. ”
“ Do I know that? Yes. Yes I do. ”

soc93:

when you feel bad for being mean for no reason