Silver Tongue
Customer: I ordered a sandwich half an hour ago and it should be here by now.
Me: you neglected to put your apartment number and weren't answering our calls so it was converted to a pickup.
Customer: but why is it taking so long? It shouldn't take this long to deliver a sandwich.

snowflake-owl:

poinsixer:

character development

Stan rejuvenated 20 years with Dipper and Mabel in his life.

queenriver:

fun fact: if you text a landline, it’ll call the landline in a robot voice and read the text

less fun: our intern was locked out this morning and didn’t realize the number she had for the other assistant was a landline so she texted it because she was locked out so at 9:30 this morning our phone rang with a robot voice loudly saying PLEASE LET ME IN before hanging up

Wait a minute, Jitters, are you saying he's causing Doctor Who's rating's to go down? Along with the other shows you mentioned?

jitterbugjive:

Considering how badly season 8 went with Doctor Who, yeah, he kinda is making ratings go down with his self indulgent bullshit


But that’s not what I’m saying

I’m saying his writing is shit and all he does is write the same thing over and over and over again, and people are too fucking stupid to notice apparently because he’s still there.

According to Moffat in Sherlock, for example: Murder is bad unless you’re a good guy, then you can get away with it and everyone will just shrug it off

stfueverything:
“ bltpastasalads:
“ Freaking THIS
”
Yes, that’s right, it’s obviously the worker’s fault, not the systemic and pervasive problem of crony capitalism. Duh.
”

stfueverything:

bltpastasalads:

Freaking THIS

Yes, that’s right, it’s obviously the worker’s fault, not the systemic and pervasive problem of crony capitalism. Duh. 

nsfwcobaltsnow:
“So Zootopia was quite amazing, it really exceeded my expectations, and I was pretty excited going into it.
Not going to spoil anything, it’s still not out in several areas, but you can probably expect some art from me...

nsfwcobaltsnow:

So Zootopia was quite amazing, it really exceeded my expectations, and I was pretty excited going into it.
Not going to spoil anything, it’s still not out in several areas, but you can probably expect some art from me soon.

@kilalabunnies
dkpyh:
“ For the Splatfest.
”

dkpyh:

For the Splatfest.

Anyone remember that episode of Spongebob where plankton slips on a puddle because there is no wet floor sign and proceed to to the Krusty Krab? Apparently the whole case is more or less factually correct. People who get injured due to negligence while attempting corporate espionage eligible to get counter sued due to corporate espionage. I never expected spongebob to be factually correct.

mutisija:

fave kind of entertainment: that when some fetish artists try to draw casual non-fetish stuff but you can still see really clearly what fetish stuff they usually draw. like

image

soupery:

mon complaining about stanford pines:

2015: why doesnt he know how to fucking glue things

2016: why doesnt he fix his fucking glasses