corpish:

librarian: you have an overdue book
shakira: i’m pretty sure i turned it in a couple weeks ago…
shakira’s hips: she lost it
shakira: son of a

queenoffrenchfries:

A face a pure shock. 

He’s slowly becoming chinless

neenya:

doubleohmogar:

franerys:

katiebpeters:

chloereneeeee:

How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can’t get that high.

How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, she holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. An alto to actually do it and a soprano to stand by and ask “isn’t that a little high for you?”

u wanna fucking go

here for this fight

sparklinglemonsquares:

miikpah:

Snakes

UNMUTE IT

haunted-sunlight:

planetfucker:

hirachieh:

DOESANYONE REMEBER

MOTHER

FUCKING

HAPPY

BUNNY?

this little fucker was my obession

This was so edgy back in the day

oh my god

middle school edgyness

rosexknight:

fangpony:

veganinwonderland:

Oh my GOD

Are you fucking KIDDING ME

This was the best thing I’ve ever read.

Every time, I forget what it is. Then I read it again.

fer1972:

Today’s Classic: Great Quotes from the great Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

mindtheglass:

today we found a lost king charles spaniel whose collar said donkey and he’s currently at my house until we find his owner.

we found out after the first couple of hours that he doesn’t respond to his name unless u say it like shrek, so idk what kind of human he belongs to. 

Clearly he doesn’t belong to humans. He belongs to ogres.

rebornica:

ghostyknight:

Help him

You can’t

S A V E H I M

peter-pan-is-my-patronus:

that’s…that’s literally the point…