swanqueenidiot:

Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right

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And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS

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I MEAN

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IT’S JUST TOO GREAT

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ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF

I really wish I was canadian.

prokopetz:
“ This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is...

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

Can we get a video of said drunk wasps?

cthulhu:

princeowl:

spookydunsparce:

spookydunsparce:

spookydunsparce:

ok using my reflexes to screencap the images at the end of Dipper’s Guide to the Unexplained, this is the closest I can give you to the full image. It appears to be Bill Cipher’s eye with two bloody marks crossing it out. Hell if I know what any of that code means, though. Someone should probably get on that.

OK SO the text at the bottom is coded in a Caeser Cipher shifted three letters apparently? so I decoded it and it says:

FROM THE FIRST UNTIL THE LAST SEARCH THE CODES OF CREDITS PAST ONE MEANS ONE SO SEARCH THEM ALL WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS

which means that theres clues in previous episodes? and i think i might know what it means so I’ll report back what I find on that front. For now, enjoy part of the mystery being decoded.

FINAL UPDATE ON THIS!!!!! IVE CRACKED THE CODE IN ITS ENTIRETY

ok so the numbers in red are episode numbers, followed by numbers correlating to letters in the messages at the end of previous episodes (with brackets indicating the beginning and end of a word). By matching them up, I got the message:

I WAS SO BLIND HE LIED TO ME THE DARKNESS IS NEAR

as far as I know that’s all to this. It raises more questions than it answers. Still, I’m glad I figured this out.

i thought this was supposed to be a disney show not some illuminati satanic bullshit goddamn i say goddamn

WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS TERRIFYING

I should probably start watching gravity falls.

I ship the two blonde white horses. make it happen.

:

So that’s Ditto and… who else?

… Squeaky? No, she’s blue hair… Inkblot has black hair… Rarity has purple…

I don’t think I know any other white pones. Who are you talking about.

Roid rage

jestre:
“gracie-birdz:
“ Fuck yes
”
Dude, I already have the guts, it’s the legality.
”
Dude, I have the guts AND legality. The problem is that I don’t know where they live.

jestre:

gracie-birdz:

Fuck yes

Dude, I already have the guts, it’s the legality.

Dude, I have the guts AND legality. The problem is that I don’t know where they live.

edwardspoonhands:
“I just recently learned that corndogs were imported from Germany and I don’t even know who I am anymore.
”
Technically, our democracy is roman. The greeks had a direct democracy where people would vote on every little thing but the...

edwardspoonhands:

I just recently learned that corndogs were imported from Germany and I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Technically, our democracy is roman. The greeks had a direct democracy where people would vote on every little thing but the romans created a representative democracy. Then they voted themselves into an empirical government.

Sweet celestia, you have freckles on your bum.

thesweetadventuresofstrawbe-blog:

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Strawberry is dying of freckle overdoce

Note to self: Add more freckles too berry.

Freckles are adorable.

extradan:
““ Kelpie said you suggested her fatty ponesona puking bees.
I took the idea and hopefully made it better.
”
Pffffff, in my head it was more of queen fatty kelpbutt puking bees like an alcoholic while leaning on a wall and puking on the...

extradan:

Kelpie said you suggested her fatty ponesona puking bees.

I took the idea and hopefully made it better.

Pffffff, in my head it was more of queen fatty kelpbutt puking bees like an alcoholic while leaning on a wall and puking on the floor while struggling through it

sweet mother marry 

Okay, bee lazer sounds like a lazer that turns ponies into bees.

zombiesandporn:
“ cathilia-crimson:
“ checkzeattic:
“ menthol-drops-and-angel-wings:
“ levi4thans:
“ PEOPLE DIED
”
102 YEARS AGO
THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW
CHILL
”
I’m sure they are very chill right now.
”
You...

zombiesandporn:

cathilia-crimson:

checkzeattic:

menthol-drops-and-angel-wings:

levi4thans:

PEOPLE DIED 

102 YEARS AGO

THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW

CHILL

I’m sure they are very chill right now.

You might even say they’re…

ICE COLD.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 

Normally I would say this post is a trainwreck but I htink it’s easier to say it’s a shipwreck.

I may have a new phone, but I am sure as hell gonna use my old display. I don’t wanna have to memorize where everything is again and I am comfortable with the way I had it.