the-nipperman:

cryogenic-nixon:

the mountain dew facebook page is dumb

are you team nerd or team nerd?

What about team x∆◯▘
Or team ┼ break your wrist?

quixon:

thebigblackwolfe:

frantzfandom:

girilla-warfare:

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

Holy fuck thats clever

It took me 5 minutes to get this

FUCK

Oh fuck you.

Smart people jokes be like

your dick is shrinking

Your moms dick is shrinking

gamtav88:

brooklyn-knight:

jalexintheimpala:

god bless gordan ramsey 

Dude is only a dick to adults, awesome.

because, those adults should know what they’re doing, they’re cooks these are kids hes teaching to cook, therefore he is patient. 

Not to mention that some of the adults he tried to help were complete nutjobs.

micthemicrophone:

haku1013:

I love everything about this

That was utterly fantastic.

My collection is growing

albinon-art:

Ya know, sometimes I can’t tell if a person on Skype who’s on Do Not Disturb had it set on and forgot about it, or they really just don’t want to be disturbed.

I have it set up so I don’t have to hear the skype noises

castieltherebel:

conquerorwurm:

computeraidedenrichmentblog:

smokywarfare:

If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t.

Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations

Except in the universe where it does

i’m having an aneurysm

Science tumblr to the rescue.
While the multiverse theory states that there is a universe for everything, there IS most likely a universe where nobody knows of the multiverse theory essentially meaning it doesn’t exist. Just as there IS most likely a universe where everything ends up being a paradox with itself.

tenaflyviper:

typewryter:

Hehehe, Cyanide and Happiness at the funny again

Why do I feel like I just watched the sad future of any number of tumblr users?

As a hex gendered water alpacca from the savanah plannet in the ice demension, I find this offensive