spacemuffinz:

ninjakato:

imaginarymuffin:

these make me mad

I had a good giggle at these, despite how absolutely irritated they make me feel. 

Me playing Sims liek

greenwithenby:

New favorite trope:

Following defeat, former antagonist is reduced to a non-threatening diminutive form with little choice but to ally themselves with the protagonists.

But whenever a former enemy joins your party, they become super weak.

phrawger:

ledundeaf:

zionks-scroob:

scooby doo had an uncle named spooky doo

I looked into this and this is not Spooky Doo, but instead a robot dog built to look and act like Spooky Doo who has been accepted into the Doo family after the canonical death of Spooky Doo.

this post came dangerously close to having me google “Scooby-Doo family tree” but that’s not the kind of life I want to live right now

hickeybickeyboo:

cloudfreed:

lmao fuck that nike one tho

that NIke one shit tho

adurot:

ultimatefandom-imagines:

thatoneflirtynerdy:

amooseinahat:

themedicwillseeyounow:

madammayorregina:

PSA to followers:

PLEASE SIGN THIS PETITION TO CANCEL THE UPDATE. 

JUST 200 MORE

150!

come on guys i dont wanna deal with this mobile hell

Come on! We need the old tumblr system back!!

Hell no, it’s a lot better like this.

You’re clearly not dyslexic.

mumblingsage:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL

If this had contained even one more piece of punctuation, it would be exponentially less hilarious. So I’m glad it didn’t.

how the fuck do breasts do a barrel roll? rosexknight halp.

renegadebusiness:

fadedistributioncenter:

theryanproject:

jjsinterlude:

iraffiruse:

The story of Patrick

MY HEART!!! 😩😭

Who’s a good boy 😢

Awww I’m glad it ended well cause I was scared for a second

Holy crap this made me so happy

adurot:

queerpunkhamlet:

remylebean:

queerpunkhamlet:

queerpunkhamlet:

highlights from my three years working at panera

• customer pooping on the floor
• pulling a stag beetle out of an old woman’s hair
  
• two employees started dating and had a blow-out fight in the parking lot before work at least once a week
  
• employee cutting her finger practically off because she jammed her arm in the bagel slicer
• catering coordinator fucking the GM in the basement
  
• man claiming he didn’t have a panera card because a friend stole all his rewards cards while he was in a coma for a year
• the turkish opera singer who worked in the kitchen for a summer
• disheveled man offering “voodoo therapy” in the dining room to guests as they walk in
• tiny dominican lesbian stole the girlfriends of two different male employees

#please be real

its real all right & there’s more where that came from

Please tell us more

• the woman who pooped on the floor got banned, but not for pooping on the floor
  
• there is a man who comes in once a week, buys a sandwich to go, and eats it in the men’s bathroom. we know because he leaves toothpicks and the wrapper by the urinal
  
• a woman once demanded to know where she could buy an apartment in the area, i informed her that this was a panera and not a real estate office, and she interrupted me to specify she was looking for an $1100 two bedroom
• we hired twins named franciel and franciela
• customer complained about the size of the small mac n cheese (it comes pre-portioned) and i told her she could upgrade it to a large for a few dollars, at which point she shook her mac n cheese in my face and screamed “i could shit more mac and cheese than this!”
• the GM got so upset that he threw a sandwich at the wall and it stuck there for a few minutes because of the sauce
• people act like “do you want bread, chips, or an apple for your side?” is the goddamn SATs
• no, you can’t get “bread chips”
• no, you can’t get “apple chips”
• no, you can’t get “apple bread”
• i hate you

How do you not have apple bread?!

dwinkus:

dwinkus:

in this horror movie the lead girl unplugged her computer and turned the monitor towards the wall so the ghosts had to fax her a spooky face