How did I come to own 5 scissors?? Like 3 of them I know I bought but the other 2????
They were left by dimension hopping horse heads.
If you lost me in a crowd, what “offensive” thing could you yell that’d be GUARANTEED to track me down? :P
List of things to say when someone asks why you don’t want kids
- I promised my firstborn to a witch and really don’t want to make good on the deal
- Well you can have them FOR me if it’s that big a deal to you
- I don’t think I could get a good price for em on the black market
- Fight me Helen
- I can’t be a better parent than Angelina Jolie so why even bother
- That’s my nindo. My ninja way.
- I literally JUST sat down
- Recite “The Highway Man” from Over the Garden Wall
- Kids? What are those? I don’t understand. What are these youOH GRAVY WHAT IS THAT!?
- Oohhh no, I’ve seen Disney movies, I know what happens to mothers
- Centipedes? In my vagina?
- *Angrily* YOU SEE!? This is just like that episode of Spongebob! *insert the plot of any episode of Spongebob in excruciating detail*
- I heard they’re.. you know.. itchy. Like, as soon as you have a kid. Just totally itchy. Everything.
- I’m an Aries
- Well, we already got an even number so.. *shrug*
- I must first capture the Avatar to regain my honor
- I’m allergic
- That’s just what the communists want!
- I’ve been dead for seven years
- Santa didn’t bring me one last Christmas, so I guess it’s no meant to be
- I’m afraid they’ll have bad taste in memes
- It would be unfair to my cat
- I’m chaotic neutral
- *long farting noise lasting at least 45 seconds*
- “I don’t want to have children, I want to stay single, and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset.”
THE LAST ONE FUCK ME OH MY GOD
You know if you want commissions you shouldn't attack people like that. He wanted to pay you just because it's not cash doesn't mean it's not valid payment.What do you think this is paypal?
AnonymousI cannot use artist credit to buy things. That’s the whole reason I’m taking commissions, to help myself out financially!
Ah yes, I don’t want to use my money to pay you for your hard work and time and skills so allow me to pay you in pocket lint. We are in olden times aren’t we, ahohoho~ What? No? You do know that refusing to accept my absolute worthless payment is attacking me right? My offer of useless bullshit that you would be getting anyway is just as good as money. You can totally use my pocket lint to provide yourself with necessities like food.
I mean, when I go to a Chinese restaurant and they refuse to give me Chinese food, only pudding cups and raw chicken I simply can not leave and refuse to eat their food. it is a proper exchange of goods after all my dear.
The premise of commissions is to make money, I know I know, but I view you so much lower than myself and so unworthy my money, yet still wanting of your goods, that I can only offer this measly, completely tactless and worthless, handful of pocket-lint.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A FUCKING MINUTE
it sounds like a guy having sex tbh
this is disturbing….
I’ve seen this before, but with a female voice.
