Chris and I have a baby now. Still needs a name!
I thoght the name was simba
No, Simba is Chris’s puppy
Hahaha
why isn’t the keytar a more common instrument
why did that have to stay such an 80′s thing
keytars are awesome
Keytars are not two instruments nor are they one. They are an experience
This just in: JK Rowling plays Minecraft and I’m crying about it just a lil bit
SHE’S HARDCORE
Survival Mode. Monsters on. JK Rowling.
But does she play Ultra Hardcore survival
parents: what did you do today
me: nothing
parents: wELL OBVIOUSLY YOU DID SOMETHING!!! DID YOU JUST LOOK AT A *WALL* ALL DAY????????
me: to be frank i did many things but you and I both know that you know very little about my interests and I know that you don't particularly care to learn about them and I don't have the mental capability to put up with you dismissing the things that make me happy so for the sake of brevity and my emotional well being: i did nothing
Stop shopping at Urban Outfitters.
DOnt shop at urban outfitters
they literally sold a blood-stained-looking sweatshirt with the name of a college where the ohio national guard massacred 4 innocent students
they sold prescription-drug related accessories trying to make it cute
they sold a board game entitled “gettopoly” i should not have to explain why this is bad
they sold a super transmisogynistic card with the T slur on it
they literally sold this shirt
PLEASE STOP SHOPPING AT URBAN OUTFITTERS
*every highschool student when the teacher doesn’t show up after 2 minutes* “you know there’s a rule where if the teacher’s not here after 15 minutes we can just leave”
what do you mean by highschool we do this every fucking day at college
this happened all the time at my school. after 5 minutes half the class would be gone. I’m not going to lie
:/ I give the names of kids that are skipping to the teacher.
one time we had a sub because our teacher was on maternity leave and the sub forgot to let us know that we would be in the computer lab next class so we were all just there for the first half hour and one of my classmates managed to get on netflix and we were watching a disney movie. The sub finally came in and was like “we are in the computer lab! what do you think you’re doing!?” and we were all “there was no sign on the door and you never told us so how were we supposed to know.”
I really like the costumes that barry, suzy and everyone else wear in table flip. I’m a sucker for victorian era clothing.
“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”
“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON. I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”
“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO? PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
“PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”
“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON. ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES? THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”
“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE. YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“
I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia.
One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless.
For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura.
When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch.
is that a scarehuman?
