rosethealchemist said:Because of that we turned out as evil as the world God forced us in. Except we’re doing better now. And God doesn’t exist. 

Well I’m believe that god and satan are more of symbols than actual beings, satan being the truth that you are in charge of your own destiny and you are the only one responsible for your actions.

But assuming the bible is true, I think it’s more likely that he got mad that they enlisted the help from the only one more beautiful and talented (and probably smarter) than him that he kicked out for those very reasons. The humans were punished because they no longer depended on god for everything. God would be the abuser in the relationship with humans and satan would be the friend trying to get the humans on their own two feet and see that they don’t need to be dependent on him. God just wanted animals for entertainment and without satans help, that’s all humans would have been. As soon as humans started to show independence, god takes away everything he can. Christians would be the victims who are all “he does all this bad shit but he still buys me something nice at the end and i need him” And it’s not just emotional abuse if you consider humans as a whole because he’s wiped out humanity like three times.

TL:DR

God and humans are an abusive relationship with god being the abuser and satan is the friend trying to help humans get out of it

shewhorantstoomuch:

Grunkle no that’s the wrong Stanley

sounds like a shitty movie.

Not really my cup of tea

Never heard of it until now.

What is it other than a neck injury caused by sudden change in velocity?

adurot:

hbreckel:

hungry-hungry-hobo13:

freedummring:

cubebreaker:

This helpful guide about what 200 calories looks like reminds us just how much healthy food we’re giving up each time we have a treat.

yeah, asshole. how dare you eat an order of french fries when you could have literally shoved 22 banana peppers in your fucking face-hole. what a piece of shit you are.

For that last comment

Who the fuck is going to give up a muffin so they can eat 2 lbs of flavorless bland celery. 

I look at this and I just think;

I mean that celery from the healthy side definitely combines well with the peanut butter from the other side. Also I’m pretty sure those are bell peppers, not bananana peppers. I buy those to make stir fry ramen with.

“I want a hotdog”
Too bad, all we have are 100 baby carrots, eat the fuck up

jeanpaulfarte:

in stories featuring aliens, they’re always like “on my planet this never happens!” or “in my culture, this differs from your human culture.” and that’s neat and all because i like worldbuilding and all that jazz but wouldn’t it be fun if they just. couldn’t do that?

i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete

like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”

“what sorts of plants grow on your planet?”

“i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say”

“tell us about the culture on your planet!”

“do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin”

“your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?”

“naw it’s cool, it’s just that, um, i’m a philosophy major”

pineplapple:

IT WAS FUCKING TACOS

I guess they would rather taco-bout soup