Silver Tongue

dauntlesshadowhunterravenclaw:

phantamxrose:
kvotheunkvothe:
consulting-catlady:
universalpotatochip:
universalpotatochip:
My stomach growled super loud in French omg
I would like to clarify my stomach did not speak French. It growled in French class I apologize
bonjour
le growl
hon hon hon feed me a baguette
Why do I even go on this website

je grogne

why are these people friends with me

artist friend: understands and visualizes anatomy perfectly
artist friend: expertly applies shading to add depth and make their creations look incredibly realistic
artist friend: draws masterpieces in less time than it takes most people to take a dump
me: chokes on own spit

My visit to get screened for cancer:

Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
Nurse: "So he's your...."
Me: "Friend."
Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
Me: "11."
Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
Me: "Uh. 0."
Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
Me: "With homosexuality."
Nurse: 
Me: 
Nurse: 
Me: "I fuck girls."

Hey, this post may contain sexually explicit content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.

Learn more.

trenchcoatinimpala:

things you don’t point out about people:
acne
cuts
Scars
body hair in places you’re not used to it being???
fat rolls/curves
how much/how little they’re eating
how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are
How fat they are.
If they have crooked or misaligned teeth maybe even yellowed
If they sweat a lot
don’t do it
don’t

rexomnia:

vingtiane:
vaginal-erection:
idkitstommy:
aww
the picture that started a war
THE PICTURE THAT STARTED A WAR.
The picture that started a revolution

my spirit animal

ofpousseys:

“you’re so full of yourself” no i had a lot of insecurites and a low self esteem which i worked extremely hard to overcome and now i realize that im awesome and i dont care if you think otherwise

vaguely-pedophilic-swingset:

whatifbilliejoearmstrong:
bceky:
american idiot starts off all yeah lets kick ass but by the end of the album woah where’d all this emotion come from
because every teenager ever acts all badass and rebellious to hide the fact that we’re still scared kids full of feelings and tenderness inside
This text post starts off all kick ass but by the end its like woah where did all this emotion come from

agentwashingtons:

hogwarts slytherin girls in their 4th year creating spells and potions that will alert you if there’s a love potion in your food/drink bc that shit is basically a date rape drug and there’s no fucking way it would be treated as a funny joke and that nobody in the wizarding world would be angry as hell about it

A slytherin girl once used it on a muggle and had a baby. When the muggles stopped being under the influence of the love potion, he got the fuck out of dodge. She vowed never to use magic again and died of sickness leaving her magic son born without love all alone. The name of the son? Tom Marvolo Riddle.

So yeah, love potions are the cause of the one who shall not be named.

fillingthespaces:

ethiopienne:
“I was on the cover of Time magazine in June, and that same month, four trans women of color were murdered in the United States. So just because I got an Emmy nomination doesn’t mean the lives of trans people aren’t in peril every day.” - Laverne Cox
CRUCIAL