Silver Tongue

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me: 
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*

That’s odd

jwblogofrandomness:

I could have sworn I heard my laptop fart.

Robots in disguise

blynxee:

I wanted to immortalize the best moment in gravity falls on my blog

So many puns and jokes that will be dated in a few years that I completely agree with it.

cinyma:

Jurassic Park (1993)
God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs destroy man. Woman inherits the earth.

mlpartconfessions:

If a blog has rules, read them before asking. It annoys some people when they get asks that are RP attempts or self insert attempts. It makes them more mad when it clearly states it in their rules that they do not tolerate those kinds of asks. Also, your ask may have been answered before. If you respect someone enough to follow their blog, respect them enough to follow their rules. You chose to read their blog. It’s not their fault you are too lazy/stupid/asshole to listen to them.
- Submitted by a-random-mod

I'm back

silver-tongues-blog

arosu-sama:

Hello back, I’m ALOS, nice to meet you :D

A bit of a lackluster reaction. Now I know how paper pad or whatever his name was feels.

eatmydiction1:

This is why you can’t take me thrift shopping.

But hey, it was only $10

the-frozen-city:

Gives me life

justice4mikebrown:

Lisa Bloom on Ferguson grand jury and Darren Wilson’s testimony (storify)
More: Lisa Bloom on the sham indictment proceedings against Darren Wilson (storify)

azula-griffon:

azula-griffon:
Why does combusken look like a badly drawn peen
What happened to my torchic
Torchic bby what happened to you
It feels so awkward petting him on pokemon amie now help

I never evolve my original starters. I only evolve their babbies.