Actually when I was younger, my mom gave me this book and it teaches young girls to love themselves before they worry about what guys think of them. It really helped 12 year old me. The end of the book says “guys like girls who like themselves.” The title is meant to catch the attention of self-loathing teenage girls because they’re the ones who need to read it the most. So you all literally just judged a book by its cover. Go stand in the corner and think about what you did.
WOW I REBLOGGED THIS A WHILE AGO AND IM SO GLAD IT CAME BACK WITH THIS CAPTION
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
Scenario 1: she picks the gun. She points it at the killer, pulls the trigger, discovers the gun is empty. Killer probably laughs for a couple seconds and stabs her in the chest and she’s fucking dead.
Scenario 2: she picks any of the knives. The killer is probably more skilled in fighting than she is, so he comes closer and slits her throat and she’s fucking dead
Scenario 3: she picks the grenade. A fucking grenade. Pulls out the pin, the damn thing explodes and now they’re both fucking dead.
Scenario 4: she picks the banana. Now let me tell you why the banana is the best choice of all. She can eat it for extra energy so she can run away from the psycho holding a knife standing in the middle of her kitchen. It’s not all lost because she’s still got the peel: she can pull a mario cart and throw that shit right on the floor. The killer steps on the peel, slips and hits his head on the counter. Now she’s all pumped up on adrenaline and sugar from the banana so she can do some squats or whatever
