suddenly part of me desperately wants to make a series of fake video essays where I catalogue completely fictional drama between made-up influencers/youtubers.
the US government hates its citizens so much that they can’t even just give us checks for the very justifiable reason of relieving suffering during a pandemic. no, it has to be Stimulus Payments to stimulate the economy. because people are never in crisis, just the economy is.
the US policy is to never acknowledge suffering on a real human scale because that would require responsibility and guilt that they don’t have.
tbh no april fools gag tumblr ever pulls will ever be as good as the lizard election of 2016 staff put more effort into that than the rest of this website combined and it shows
for those of you who werent here in 2016 on april fools that year the entire fucking website was transformed and there was an election for a position that wasnt even ever specified and the candidates were four lizards (or three lizards and a salamander as a scandal would later prove) and it was called decision2016
each lizard had their own 3d models and tumblr blog and campaign and there was also a tumblr blog dedicated to reporting on the election and they made like whole ass news broadcasts with a guy in front of a green screen
you could vote for your favorite candidate and there was a built-in function that let you make and post a campaign poster
in case anyone was wondering the winner of the election was mop. relatable and reliable. #Mop Could
BRUCE: I’ve created jobs by keeping Wayne Enterprises in Gotham. I’ve provided scholarships to every employee of my company and I offer them to others as well. I’ve built orphanages and hospitals, including mental health facilities. I’ve provided jobs to ex-felons right out of prison so they can rebuild their lives. I’ve supported pro-reform political candidates and the few honest cops in Gotham City.
BRUCE: It’s going to take time to reform the system and lift this city out of poverty and corruption, so I think I’ll spend my evenings protecting the people who live here. Tonight, I’m going after the criminals preying on the sex workers struggling to make a living in Crime Alley.
BRUCE: And once I’ve kicked some ass, I’ll offer their victims jobs at Wayne Enterprises so they can get off the streets and have stable, safe, legal employment. I’ll pay for any education or training they might need.
ALFRED: Don’t forget your cape, sir.
there was an entire episode of the 90s series ‘the forgotten’ where he personally visits a homeless shelter he funds, discovers some homeless people who frequent it have gone missing, then to find out where they went purposefully pretends to be homeless to be beaten up, captured, and taken to where the other homeless guys were being used as slave labor
he legit willingly submits himself to torture and nearly dies trying to help homeless people, at least one person actually died in this situation he willingly entered
then when he gets out straight up has Alfred pull the limousine up with job applications for the guys he was locked up with
-that- is how to batman
This is reason number two modern cinema doesn’t get Batman.
If you can’t picture your batman as Matches Malone, or getting the ventriloquist into a job at Wayne enterprises, you’re not picturing batman.
(the first test is “Can you picture your batman taking time to comfort a lonely, scared child?”)
Something important I need everyone to know is making me lose it is the fact that Ever Given is, unfortunately, free, but it is also free thanks to the full moon keeping the tides up. the first full moon of March is called the Worm Moon.
The Suez Canal has been opened for traffic thanks to the celestial powers of the SUPER WORM MOON and the sheer comedy of this is sending me. Happy pass over
my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
