Silver Tongue

tragedykery:

microsuedemouse:

tizzymcwizzy:

orcarriagesthatwork:

I think about this cake every day

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sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

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The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[image 1: a decorated rectangular cake. text written with icing is supposed to read “congratulations”, but the letters become squished closer together as the word goes on, and the word becomes illegible, though obviously misspelled.

image 2: tags reading:

i had to get a cake for my brother’s graduation. the employee came out with this. he didn’t even seem embarrassed. he just looked so tired. he offered to try again but i said that it was perfect. couldn’t have asked for a better cake for my brother. even my grandma thought it was funny. the cashier thought i was crazy but i was too busy crying. i mean look at it. how many letters. congratutalations. i don’t know how to spell congratutalations either man i get it

image 3: another decorated rectangular cake. text done with icing reads, “Happy Birthday Courtney, Mily, Jaun, Pablo”. /end description]

mcnostril:

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There’s a clear hierarchy of danger in From Software games, and Retro Circlet is no exception.


PS: I had pre-emptively prepared this picture for those that might doubt the truth, but it seems most folk readily accept the indisputable reality of ratte.

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skulk-id:

my-dudedededed:

captainlordauditor:

bogleech:

followthebluebell:

shadowpuppy2:

captain-price-officially:

Wet beast Wednesday

Oh they’re notching her tail. See the little bit taken out? That tells whoever catches her next to let her go– it’s a sort of “hey, this is a reproductive female; let’s keep the cycle going by putting her right back in the water” signal. The bit will grow back in 2-3 shed cycles, which takes a couple years.

They know she’s able to reproduce bc she was caught with eggs.

The abrupt way he slams the fish into her claw is so funny though like take your fucking lunch and get the fuck out of here. Ma'am.

Imagine being grabbed by eldritch giants and they give you lunch and send you back home

Imagine they shove a whole fucking cow in your arms and throw you back to the Earth

It’s better than that, even. First they give you a tramp stamp that says, “Too fuckable to kill” and THEN they slam a dead cow into your arms and throw you back to Earth.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

avengedcelery:

lesbiacebian:

stop what you’re doing and watch this

For those who don’t know, this is Joe Lycett. He’s a British comedian who’s also bisexual/pansexual (he uses both labels interchangeably afaik), and this isn’t an isolated thing.

He has a show called Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back which explains consumer rights, exposes dodgy businesses and actually fights on behalf of people who have been scammed by those businesses, often successfully.

He also legally changed his name to Hugo Boss in protest of the fashion house Hugo Boss hitting a local brewery with cease and desist because they trademarked the word boss. The protest was successful and Hugo Boss receded the c&d.

He’s a cool guy and I recommend looking him up. I also recommend looking up the notable cases from JLGYB on the Wikipedia link below

That local brewery is Boss Brewery in Swansea, and if you go to their bar they now sell a pizza named the Lycett in his honour

isn't wanting to be friends with other people, like, cheating? if you're aromantic?

Anonymous

envyvstheuniverse-deactivated20:

abernant:

literally what

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rare post where almost every note is sofunny

greatjaggi:

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There’s just so much I don’t know about Tolkien’s work

wizardshark:

azeneth-mor:

chaoartwork:

tropic-mews:

tigersquash99:

itsaudreynotaubrey:

This will never NOT be funny

I’m so glad this is on tumblr

My favourite thing about this is, he didn’t even have to call him ‘Captain’ he could have used the screen-name but he was SO MARRIED TO THE IMMERSION that he DID.

Passenger: CAPTAIIIIN!!!

Captain: y-yeah?

Passenger: LOOOOOOOK!

(FULL BLAST PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN MUSIC)

my fav.

Fun fact, the developers of this game loved this video so much that they made it an official advertisement of the game