Silver Tongue

xxtc-96xx:

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the family waits, the battle continues


my patreon

my ko-fi

emetkoto:

met a new kinda guy on twitter today

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carbomcoco:

kegelgod:

toohot-tohoot:

niggawitdreadz:

How to spoon:

  • Dick hard on the butt
  • Titty in my hand
  • Kiss ya neck
  • Hell yeah
What

HOW TO SPOON

  • DICK HARD ON THE BUTT
  • TITTY IN MY HAND
  • KISS YA NECK
  • H E L L Y E A H

this is the only heritage post that matters to me

bill-nye-official-blog:

ivoryjaderose:

mysukisilentdeath:

ragingbookdragon:

in3ffable-husbands:

broadwaytheanimatedseries:

b–o–n–k:

recreationallyscolded:

kingoftheunderground:

furiousfran:

teapotsahoy:

picklespickleyama:

bronzebasilisk:

fan-troll:

lord-kitschener:

jimblespage:

jolys:

caterjunes:

spiffymuffin:

yunghau5:

3dboyfriends:

smashbrethren:

prostheticknowledge:

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

the time is now

hell yeah

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ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

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it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

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i call it the matterhorn

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

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I call this one the Megahorny

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Just cram an entire table lamp up there

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

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My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

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Plate. 

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-

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How you gonna do us like that bruh???

ITS BACK

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M U S H R O O M

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en garde

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The Pine Tree

olympain:

Wolf’s Defining Shots

msmaev:

raan-miir-tah:

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They stole our fucking boy!! He’s in the abyss now!!!!

Sorry, your boyfriend got banned from twitch. Yea no what? No he wasnt saying slurs or anything, yea it was the tits, yea they said he fondled hits tits on stream. Sorry they said they were female presenting, but we know hes a dude, a lil guy. Sorry

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

kaijuslayer:

Let me tell you about one of my high school friends’ old Dungeons and Dragons PCs.

Olaf Olafson was your pretty straightforward Northman Barbarian type. Huge, strong, pale, red-haired and with a tremendous beard. What made Olaf special was the little things.

Despite living in a world with clerical magic, demons, and other powerful alignment-based Outsiders, Olaf was an atheist. This was because his people believed the last world had already ended and the gods went with it (basically post-Ragnarok). All that was left were ‘spirits’. Powerful spirits. Who could grant deific magic. But they weren’t gods, and you didn’t have to worship them- in fact you shouldn’t, because it would just inflate their already swollen egos.

Despite being an enormous, frightening, powerful man with dubious hygeine and a propensity for going literally berserk in combat, Olaf was a gentle fellow in towns and villages, had a deep fondness for small fluffy animals and children, and was a generous tipper.

Olaf liked to drink. Not mead, but wine. He liked to sip it. It made him feel ‘civilized’. He never drank it quickly enough to get drunk. His meals almost invariably consisted of “Wine. Meat. Cheese.” Which was what he would order in literally every tavern. They’d ask him to clarify, what sort of wine? What sort of meat? What sort of- Olaf would raise a hand and repeat, slowly, as if to a fool: “Wine. Meat. Cheese.” 

Olaf spoke broken common, more or less Hulk-speak, referred to himself in the third person almost exclusively, all that fun stuff. Then we had a story arc where I sent them up to Olaf’s homeland, where everyone spoke ‘Northman’ or whatever the hell I called it. While up there, he was incredibly fluent. Even poetic. “My brothers! I have returned from the decadent lands of the south, bearing riches and glory, and tales of great deeds!” The other players caught on and talked like a pack of movie Frankensteins, barely able to communicate in the foreign tongue.

For a long time, Olaf was the most financially stable member of the party. Because he bought a tavern in their home-base-town, hired the senior barmaid/waitress lady to be the manager, and funneled the profits back into the business. He kept his adventuring money and his tavern money separate, except when he would sometimes spend adventuring money to expand the tavern. 

 There’s not a lot to do in 3rd edition with skill ranks when you’re a barbarian, so eventually Olaf sank a point into Healing on a lark. A few sessions later, they captured an important enemy NPC, but he’d lost an arm in the fighting and was about to die. Their cleric had been captured and their NPC paladin wasn’t around, either. There was no magical healing available, and no one else had any ranks in healing. The dude was about to die, and take with him the knowledge of where their friends had been taken. Olaf- with a  single rank in Healing I remind you -offered to save his life in exchange for the location, and the guy agreed. Olaf then stuck a sword in the fire, said “Olaf see this once,” and cauterized the wound.

It worked, of course. I didn’t even make him roll. I was too busy trying not to piss myself laughing. “Olaf see this once.” Jesus Christ.

An absolute legend

Lives flashing before your eyes?

xeansicemane:

radiofreederry:

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There is something deeply funny and beautiful about people falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

ayeforscotland:

ayeforscotland:

ayeforscotland:

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Fucking hell.

ID: Quote tweet of an article by TheGamer online magazine: Hogwarts Legacy Draws Further Complaints of Antisemitism

Saved you a Click Video Games: Hogwarts Legacy has a shofar, a Jewish musical instrument (horn). It’s described in-game as a goblin artefact used during the Goblin Rebellion of 1612 to annoy witches and wizards.

1612 coincides with the real life massacre of Jews in 1612-1616.

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Once again, fucking hell.

apparently gorgonzola isnt kosher since its made with rennet, just to make matters slightly worse