atheist-xmas:

atheist-xmas:

atheist-xmas:

atheist-xmas:

I hate driving because you have to do everything perfectly as fast as possible or everyone around you will announce their displeasure with airhorns

oh and if you mess up you die and kill a bunch of people at the same time

LITERALLY like disarming a bomb except there’s a peanut gallery watching you and they’ve each got an airhorn and also another bomb

#this sounds like something John mulaney would say 

This is one of the nicest compliments I’ve gotten about my writing, and I’ve been reading this post in his syntax ever since I read your tag

manywinged:

perhaps you’re right about a flaming sword being a useless and extremely hazardous weapon to wield but the fact remains that i am wielding this kickass flaming sword and you are not

dicecast:

i-am-fert:

h0m0d4chi:

how can him go inside but me not

itis okay. you can stil particitate in othor fert activties suck as:

sleep

sleep

and sleep

This is illegally sweet.  

perfectlygenericblog:

animeprofilepicfromgoogle:

shes-a-killerqueen:

lady–of–greenwood:

what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck

fuck whatever fake-ass feral aesthetic you guys are cultivating, this guy has it on lock

Don’t forget about this one.

It gets weirder…

the-sunflower-spaceman:

the-sunflower-spaceman:

the-sunflower-spaceman:

hedonism is good actually rich people just suck at it

i think not only do we have a moral obligation to preserve human life but also a moral obligation to maximize the pleasure of others and ourselves (provided it doesn’t hurt anyone)

people don’t just deserve to eat food, they deserve to eat good food that tastes good without worrying about nutritional content

people don’t just deserve clothes, they deserve nice clothes that are well made and fit their personal style

people don’t just deserve the bare minimum, they don’t just deserve to be alive, they deserve to live and have nice things for no other reason than making that particular person happy

as-warm-as-choco:

See you around, Alex !

johannesviii:

killyourrdarlingss:

EXCUSE ME ?!?!?!?

“Nickelback doing sea shanties on tiktok” wasn’t on my wishlist but now that it’s here I wonder why I didn’t ask for it

judgejudyofficial:

snugglebunchesofeyes:

silly-slacker-person:

This girl found her niche and rolled with it

get that money, honey

sad that nearly everything shocks her except her boyfriend checking out some other girl

pinenuttrekkie:

is this your god

inthefallofasparrow:

1. The Magician