Silver Tongue

thesassygandalf:

Must have shoulder pads to join this club, Blue.
((note: they are not intentionally being rude, but Steven told them about surprise parties and they are planning one for Blue just cuz))

couriers-mile:

dragonie:
couriers-mile:
Sometimes I think about the dense-ass gamer bros who went to the forums and legit asked “Doctor Richards keeps calling me his little buttercup and flirting with me and I think he thinks I’m playing as a girl??? Is this a bug????”
Like not only are these idiots so used to not having to see or think about gays that they completely missed the BLATANT gay subtext of the Confirmed Bachelor perk when they took it for the Sweet Damage, but they were more prepared to assume that a man hitting on them was a bug than to believe Obsidian would put an openly gay man in their shooty shooty game as a respected officer among the “good guys”
But they still feel like any queer rep at all is overwhelming pandering after they got used to not having to look at us at all for most of gaming history
i think about these a lot
Arcade Gannon: I like men. I’m interested in men. I like to date men. I would like for another man to woo me.
Gamerbo1zzzz: is Arcade gay? Does anyone know? I’m not sure. Does this mean he’s gay??

chiribomb:

sevenatee:
sevenatee:
fonicsox:
allfrogsarefriends:
Ah! Hes the same guy who provides women selfies that they could use if they feel threatened!
So he’s smart, diligent, has a variety of interests, looks out for women, and he’s pretty good looking if my mostly-lesbian assessment is worth anything
This is a unicorn of a man

a real life himbo

mooncatyao:

toxiccaves:
father son bonding :^)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I’m crying

francisfactory:

m3nkhu:
Imagine how little candles must have cost in the 1700s. Must’ve been pretty cheap, right? With everyone using them all the time instead of electricity? Now think about how much they cost now. 20 some dollars for a candle. What if we could go back to when candles were cheap? Wouldn’t you want that? What if we could make that happen.
OP is gonna cut the power grid

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:
what-even-is-thiss:
what-even-is-thiss:
what-even-is-thiss:
what-even-is-thiss:
what-even-is-thiss:
what-even-is-thiss:
Me: *rolls up to a merchant in ancient Athens on Heelys and sipping a Starbucks*
Me: Yo where’s your horribly dense wine I’ve got coin
Merchant: What on earth are you wearing
Me: It’s called pants.
Merchant: I hate that.
Me: *struts up to an Inca temple in bright green sunglasses*
Me: Hey guy of knowing stuff what do you know can I see your dead kings
Ancient Inca man: Are you sent from the gods to annoy me
Me: Nope, I’m doing this for free.
Me: *banging pots and pans in the street in the middle of the Mali empire*
Me: WHERE’S THE SALT???
Random passerby: What is a European doing this far south
Other rando: Yelling about salt apparently.
Me: *walks into the Song Dynasty with a backpack and a hydro flask*
Me: Hey have you guys invented paper money yet?
Woman washing clothes: What are you talking about? Who are you?
Me: *takes a sip of my Ancient Greek wine I’m keeping in my hydro flask* Do you have paper money?
Woman: I suppose?
Me: Sweet. *walks off*
Me: *struts onto a Polynesian canoe in a Star Wars t-shirt*
Me: What do you guys eat on these things? Fish?
Sailor: What the f*ck are you and where did you come from we’re in the middle of the ocean
Me: Can I have that fruit
Sailor: No. Absolutely not.
Me: Fair. *jumps overboard with my hydro flask*
Me: *sitting on top of a building during the beheading of Marie Antoinette*
Me: *pulls a bag of popcorn and some peasant bread out of my backpack*
Roof climbing child: Who are you?
Me: Someone on a roof. *hands them some bread*
Child: Why are you dressed like that?
Me: Because I can.
Me: *arrives home totally plastered*
Friend: You know you’re supposed to water down that kind of wine right
Me: *throws bread at them* It was the Song Dynasty. I was right. Frick you.