novaangelofgays-deactivated2020:

People allergic to peanuts: keep peanuts as far away from me as possible or I’ll die

People allergic to shellfish: no shrimp pls I don’t wanna die today

Lactose intolerant people:*while eating ice cream* the weight of my sins drags me closer to hell but I sit in a throne higher than God’s

harry-lloyds:

Batman: Fine. Did you get all that, Commissioner?
Commissioner: Indeed I did, Batman. We’ll set up the tape telecast and have the dummy package of money waiting. See you at eleven tonight.
Commissioner: Two fine men. So dissimilar in many respects and yet… yet so similar in others.

cathugging:

cathugging:

cathugging:

cathugging:

cathugging:

cathugging:

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HE HAS ARRIVED

turing-tested:

can u go from red to blonde hair

no clue but i went from blonde to red hair. when i was younger my hair was very blonde but now its a dark red

batter-sempai:

ohthehypocrisy:

That ISN’T Sans. That’s a Mii Fighter.

That’s one of them dudes that look like people wearing a costume of Sans fighting for him.

I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble regarding this, but I actually think it’s super in-character for Sans to be a Mii Fighter costume.

Like, the guy couldn’t even be bothered to do any actual fighting himself, so he got a Mii to do it. 

He got YOU to do it.

Sans just throws you his clothes and a mask of his face, and says, “here you do it.”

sans: you and i both know that i cant fight humans forever. you fucking do it yourself

goblinparty:

Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the word ‘library’, so I said ‘book ranch’. He thought it was hilarious and started making up alternative names for ‘librarian’.

“Cowbook! Like cowboy! No…Readcher? Like Rancher? No, fuck this is hard…”

and just now I heard him yell “BOOKAROO” from the other end of the apartment in the most triumphant tone of voice i’ve ever heard

teathattast:

freakshows199:

This is like the new road work ahead vine but it’s the rock

jasker:

even the name of the palette is so perfect 💕💞💖