jennytrout:

symmetraismygf:

warriorsatthedisco:

tinycodingkitty:

azzandra:

am-i-the-last-dreamer:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

pain-and-missouri:

tilthat:

TIL a 19 year old man dove 85 feet into the ocean to wrestle an 80 pound octopus with a 9 foot diameter to the surface in a 25 minute epic battle in which he punched the octopus subduing it after it turned red and lunged at him tearing off his respirator. He drove it home, cooked it up, and ate it.

via reddit.com

This is the man you must fight at the gates of Valhalla to prove you’re worthy of that mighty hall

It somehow gets crazier. this teenager trained for months. he staged fights in his parents’ swimming pool to train for this epic match. he choose halloween night for the final showdown. and it was for a school project. he could have chosen any seafood, but he decided on, in his own words, “that big fucking octopus.” magnificent bastard. 

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Y’all missed the part where he dragged it ashore and divers saw him, got upset and sent some pretty rough stuff to his family. Then, at the Washington Fish and Wildlife meeting, he showed up and was like “yeah, it should be protected.” 

Except that the giant pacific octopus is nowhere near extinct and actually doing just fine.

So not only did he wrestle, kill, and eat a giant octopus- he got it protected from hunting in several locations even though the species doesn’t need protecting. 

Fucking legendary indeed.

So the only person they need protection from is this guy.

…what sort of school project requires you to wrestle sea life?

That’s just how Washington is

to be clear, the school project was to “draw something from nature.” nobody asked him to wrestle an octopus.

…now, I have misunderstood the spirit of a lot of art projects before but

theres a lot to unpack here

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP IM PLANTING KUDZU ON GOVERNMENT PROPERTY

findingfeather:

kawuli:

DO NOT PLANT KUDZU ON GOVERNMENT PROPERTY

THIS IS LIKE HIRING VIKINGS TO PROTECT YOU FROM OTHER VIKINGS: IT WON’T WORK AND YOU’LL END UP WITH SO MANY VIKINGS THEY TAKE OVER NORMANDY

EXCEPT INSTEAD OF VIKINGS IT’S KUDZU

AND INSTEAD OF NORMANDY IT’S E V E R Y W H E R E

I am so proud of you for this metaphor you have no idea.

rosexknight:

smitethepatriarchy:

runcibility:

patrickat:

bisexuanal:

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I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner.

Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

The sad part is the spaghetti was likely already in a pot. Because everyone I know eats spaghetti right out of the pot. Literally all he likely had to do was put a lid on the pot and put the pot in the fridge. Fuck this guy.

zingoogniz:

zingoogniz:

itswalky:

wackd:

inbarfink:

wackd:

web-s:

I think you’re gonna be a bad teacher.

he could remember that long password but not what any given electronic is called

Remembering the password is *useful*, rememebring the name of Goobers isn’t inherently so.

fair

the bit of animation where peter throws the monitor behind them as they run is basically my favorite thing

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he got that password by watching a mirrored reflection of her hands, through a grate in the ceiling.

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but still has to peck at the letters with single fingers

okay listen, theres a reason intelligence and wisdom are two different stats

chefpyro:

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Look man there isn’t a lan cable on earth that can reach up the stairs and into my room.

does your room not have an ethernet port? i mean nothing against wifi streams, i use wifi too but like, in dutch houses are there not ethernet ports?

blackoutace:

silver-tongues-blog:

silver-tongues-blog:

silver-tongues-blog:

I never had a lol so random phase and feel like I missed out. I should have one now

potato

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Look, if you ever used “XD” “OwO” “RAWR” “T-T” unironically or there was a time where you genuinely enjoyed lolcats, I have bad news for you. 

I use OwO unironically now but thats more of a hewwo thing

warmfuzzyfelines:

where-are-zebedes-bees:

what-kicks-is-konyyl-wearing:

dust-on-page12:

starbuckssollux:

shubbabang:

What if the trolls went to human high school but like everyone knew what trolls were so it wasn’t as weird but still like what if

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this post is like unearthing a fucking fossil

To see this post in person is a big honor.

wow, I’ve seen screenshots and endless comic dubs but haven’t actually seen the post with my own two eyes, this is a precious relic that we must treat with care

holy shit

@qaznotquaz

cognitohazardous:

pokemonpostsdaily:

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praying for a twist where you mechanically cannot actually beat him and story progression involves a detour around his gym battle like you just have to kill him