Bruce Wayne is so dumb. Billionaire playboy bachelor is such a stupid cover when stressed single parent is not only the truth but also easier to explain to all these rich folks.
All this weird in depth knowledge? Had to help with school presentations
Tired? Sleepy? Looks a bit sick? Huh yeah the youngst has the flu right now
Literally always has “my child is sick/home alone” as an excuse to not be anywhere and leave suddenly
No need to flirt with people
Can talk about children for hours and bore people away from paying attention
“So my child’s first languge is actually X so of course I had to learn it”
“Oh yeah, I was in Spain last week. Lovely country.”
“Really??? Didn’t see any pictures from you.”
“I don’t want my children exposed to the media storm”
Buying weird stuff!!!!
“Oh yeah, Jason’s super into DIY right now, we’re at the hardware store every week basically”
Bottom line Single Dad is the bet cover he could have had and DC has to ruin it
Yeah, my second child jumped into my bed this morning. Feet first.
Black eye?
That would be the milk my oldest spilled on the floor which he forgot to clean up before I slipped on it and went head first into my wool carved cabinets.
You just disabled this bomb???
Yeah, my third kid build a working model and we didn’t have time to call the bomb squad so I made sure if he does something like that again, I know how to deal with it.
Your vast knowledge of rockets and space ships??
Also my third child. Timmy’s so smart, honestly, I have no idea where he gets all this stuff.
Why are you able to understand that strange magic person who’s only speaking in Old English?
Jason went through a phase.
Why is your youngest carrying swords around and shouting death threats?
I slept with a rich, Middle Eastern king’s daughter and I didn’t get custody until he was 10. Damian was raised very…traditionally.
You backflip??
Dick’s a circus acrobat and an Olympic class gymnast. He looked so happy when he said he could teach me, I didn’t have the heart to tell him no.
You have huge dark circles under your eyes, you okay?
I haven’t slept in three days, the kids are all down with some kind of sickness.
Why is that small child covered with bruises and why is his arm in a cast?
Dick thought it would be fun to swing from the chandelier in the main entrance, to the top of the banister of the stairs and to slide down to the bottom.
He missed.
Okay but consider: a Bruce Wayne who uses the dumb bachelor cover up until Dick’s first science project living with him and Bruce has the light bulb moment while Alfred is treating the burns
I am absolutely furious,, what the fuck are people thinking??? She’sseven (7). They better square tf up because I’m about to drop kick them all
To explain for people wondering- the reason she’s being harrassed is because when she was out with her family at the mall she didn’t stop to give an autograph and take a picture with an (assumably adult) fan who then went off on her parents for not “teaching your girl [Lexi] how to act in public”.
She is 7 years old, and she doesn’t owe anyone her time, especially when she’s just trying to enjoy a day off with her family. I don’t care if you’re a fan, famous people don’t owe you anything.
Especially not children
the fuck kinda weirdo wants a 7 year old’s autograph anyway
bill nye has fucking snapped. if you say the words “chinese hoax” he’ll personally teleport to your location, set you on fire, and tell you that “oh no boo hoo you can’t stop being on fire because it costs too much money to not be on fire guess it’s just not worth extinguishing you”. he’d stab an oil company exec with knife hidden under his light blue lab coat. that man has gone off the civility rails, he is absolutely living, i admire him fully, we stan
Bill Nye has what feels like a valid anti-hero/supervillain origin story. Young, optimistic scientist dedicates his life to educating children about science, but then watch as those same kids grow up to ignore science and continue to destroy the earth. So in a fit of rage/act of desperation he activates Super ScientistTM mode and becomes his superpowered persona and starts killing billionaires in ridiculous over-the-top fourth grade science fair experiment related ways.
Tbh, I’d help him
Reblog to become Supervillain Bill Nye’s nameless henchperson
Aubry: Someone restrain me before I go absolutely feral on you.
My bad for assuming a post about anime glasses is about anime glasses and for not being aware of homestuck even on the most basic level @candiedbatteryacid
this is by far one of the bests responses ive seen
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
