Silver Tongue

weaselle:

belldomar:

official-portugal:

twitter

A quick translation:

Dude: OK, guys, let’s assign the disasters. Hum, tsunami. Who wants the tsunami?

2004: Yeah, I’ll have the tsunami.

Dude: OK, 2004 has the tsunami. 2012, do you still want the asteroid?

2012: Nah, no need.

Dude: Cool, let’s schedule that for 2030. OK, 2020, I have-

2020: FIRES.

Dude: OK, we can do fires, no problem-

2020: NUCLEAR TENSION.

Dude: Fires and… nuclear tension?

2020: PANDEMIC.

Dude: 2020, you can’t just- just have EVERYTHING-

2020: KOBE BRYANT DIES IN A HELICOPTER ACCIDENT.

1986: Wh-who’s Kobe Bryant?

1347: Heli-what?

Dude: So, you’re asking for fires, nuclear tension, a pandemic AND the death of basketball legend in your year!?

2020: TILL MARCH.

Dude: C’mon. Guys, help me with this.

1986: I would say something, but… CHERNOBYL! Oops, am I right?

2014: At least you still have the twin towers.

2000: Wait, what do you mean?

1347: I agree that 2020 is pushing it-

1945: YOU’RE LITERALLY- You’re the high point of the Bubonic plague!

1347: Oh, much apologies, Sir TWO ATONIC BOMBS!

1945: It’s ATOMIC, you f*ing medieval-

1347: Who are you calling medieval, G.I. Joe. Go play with your-

1945: Here we go again-

2000: Now, seriously, what-

1: Y’all want BREAD?!

1347, with a funny accent: Look at me! I have ME.DI.CI.NE.

the comedic timing really carries even when you don’t speak the language

bulbasaur-propaganda:

This is amazing 😍

By daveliquidlizard / Instagram

gorps:

plank-boi:

newturkdad:

crabwalker:

newturkdad:

momowatcher:

paxamericana:

image

Best sticker

Freakin’ awesome. We live in anaheim so our boys got to enjoy the all-access Disneyland Daily pass. Our youngest (Tanner) wanted to be an officer. Unfortunately he was too small for the restraints on splash mountain so when the coaster sped up it flung him out and he skidded about 200 feet on the asphalt. Here’s what we’re keeping him in right now:

image

Disney won’t let us bury on park grounds because of a potential copyright issue with the superman thing.

We miss him a lot, but there’s a cancellation fee on the Daily pass, so we’ve been making the most of it. His brother still enjoys the park and since we chose not to press charges, we’re entitled to one free mickey pancake a day

??? Reading that looked like you tried to copy abd paste 3 differint stories together to make us not realise you just copied and pasted??

First of all: splash mountain is a water log ride. There are no places where it just…speeds…up? Its a fucking water log ride???

BECAUSE its a water log ride it DOESNT HAVE RESTRAINTS….it DOES however have a minimum height requirment of 46 inches to ride the ride, so EVEN IF this kid was too small, they WOULD NOT let them ride.

There is no asphault anywhere near the track itself. The CLOSEST you could come is the big drop at rhe end but again, minimum height requirement of 46 inches tall to ride, the angle of the drop and the speed at which you go it is physically impossible to get ‘launched’.

I feel like this is obvious but theres so much obviously wrong about the second addition i suppose i need to state this.

SUPERMAN. ISNT. DISNEY. Superman is DC. The only theme parks that have licenced DC character based rides is six flags.

Six flags, another park that HAS MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS for rides.

That has restraints on rides in which are necesary. Which again, YOU CANNOT RIDE IF YOU DO NOT MEET THE SAFETY GUILDLINES.

Go try to shitpost and ruin the reputation of a differint park, will you? At least make sure your story is even plausable before you open your mis-informed mouth.

@crabwalker​ Are you seriously explaining to me how Splash Mountain works? Do you think I don’t remember how my son died? Oh, and it’s “physically impossible to get launched?” Guess what, asshole? My SON got launched. This is the last photo we have of him.

image

You’ve said some cruel things to me, but I’m going to be the bigger person.
I’ll be praying, for your sake, that nobody in your family ever gets launched.

image

That photo is based off of a meme of this lady looking pissed. That and I can’t find an incident based off of what you posted. Shut the fuck up.

Why did you photoshop tanner out of that picture?

nazyalenskey:

thoroughlymodernhippie:

truuustme-imawriter:

Daniel Handler everyone

I’d be laughing at this if I wasn’t busy reeling from the fact that this guy is a real person and I’ve just seen his true face

image

silver-tongues-blog:

By far the most infuriating portion of my stream

ceiwiart:

image

Basically the entirety of the show lmao

spectra-bear:

image
image
image
image
image
image
image

Oh yeah i forgot to share this yesterday

wastingoxygensince1983:

gaycism:

I watched the whole thing; she’s so funny