Silver Tongue
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:
“ biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:
“ madimoo31:
“ biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:
“i couldn’t fit it in but a bonus level is: i hope trump doesn’t die just yet bc it could affect the election/i would like him to experience...

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

madimoo31:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

i couldn’t fit it in but a bonus level is: i hope trump doesn’t die just yet bc it could affect the election/i would like him to experience intense suffering first.

Can we actually get American Idiot to the top of the charts

the brits got Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead to the top of the charts when thatcher died & she wasn’t even in office so…

FRIENDS I HAVE SOME REMARKABLE NEWS

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krisiverse:

404-moved:

404-moved:

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THEFT

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How DARE you leave this in the notes

[image description: first image is a photo of a large dog sitting in a wheelchair. second image is a reply by @/13lizardsinatrenchcoat saying, “disservice dog.” end description.]

alexandriaocasiocortez:

alexandriaocasiocortez:

Whenever I think about the Twilight movies my mind instantly goes to the scene where Bella first steps out of her father’s car holding a tiny cactus. And then I remember the parody movie they made of Twlight where the main girl steps out the car with a gigantic cactus.

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branwyn-says:

normalize my 12th grade English teacher, who admitted that his favorite TV show was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and when a male student suggested that it was because Buffy/Sarah Michelle Gellar was hot, wrinkled his face like he’d bitten into something rotten and dead, and said, “At my age (he was 53), there is nothing less sexy than a teenager. You’re all disgusting messes.”

It was 1999, I was 17, and I’d grown up in conservative Christian schools and churches. In my life I’d heard heard dozens of sermons from male preachers and teachers and even some older students, whining about how hard it was to be a dude and not commit the sin of thinking sexual thoughts, and how they needed women to wear long skirts and cover their bodies to objectify them

and my bitter, misanthropic, atheist Brit Lit teacher, who hated my class because he was obsessed with teaching Huckleberry Finn but got stuck with Shakespeare and Jane Austen, was the first, and this day the last man I have ever heard articulate a rebuttal from the depths of his soul to the idea that it was normal for teenage girls to be desirable to middle aged men

radicalgraff:
““The only dangerous minority is the rich” ”

radicalgraff:

“The only dangerous minority is the rich”

supernovadad:

mulaney:

Roughly 1000 of you asked: Did you lie about your age when Princess Diana died?

This is so passive aggressive I’m actually losing my shit

kvothbloodless:

readerofmanyworlds:

terpsikeraunos:

hellenecstatic:

FYI the name Dennis is derived from Dionysus. That is all.

this means…denny’s….

Denny’s is absolutely the domain of a god of chaos and revelry

Everything suddenly makes so much sense

ren-of-rationality:

soybean-sam1894:

t3trahedron:

sinesalvatorem:

mlgspacememe:

jamtastik:

thighetician:

kinghispaniola:

If you’re not ready to fight an alligator over your best friend dont even think about coming to Florida

Apex predators

Yooooo

Florida culture is living in a real life Jurassic park yet being more scared of the local people

TBF, you would be too if you’d ever met Florida Man

Hopefully this doesn’t burst anybody’s bubbles, but the video’s fake (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-man-save-friend-from-reptilian-attack/)

Now, by fake I mean: the alligator wasn’t real, it was put there as a prank by some Youtubers, to record people’s reactions. So the guy a) survived, and b) reacted as he would (AKA: fought a fucking alligator to save his friend) had it been real, because neither of them knew it wasn’t.

To quote Snopes: It appears that the “elbow drop” move was actually a real, good-faith, and quite courageous response to an uncomfortably realistic and relatively low-effort prank

Ok but like…. that still doesn’t change the fact that this absolute legend genuinely thought an alligator was about to eat his friend and he ELBOW DROPPED the fucking thing to save him!!!! That’s some true ass friendship right there

No people or animals got hurt, guy got to try and elbow drop an alligator, and his friend got to find out just how ride or die his friend is. As far as I’m concerned this makes the whole thing better.