harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:
“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”
“BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)”
“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”
would like to add to this post and say that harry is uploading these videos to standard muggle youtube. people see this kind of scruffy, obviously Fucked Up kid rambling nonsense into his deskptop camera and just think he is really really good at shitposting
Harry, *filming himself with one hand, throwing raw meat at a seemingly empty space with the other*: “So anyways, you guys probably can’t see him through the camera lens but this weird fuck belongs to my best friend Luna who can’t actually take care of him right now because she’s out riding drag- er, um she’s on vacation in Romania so I have to do it. Um, the only reason I can see him is because I watched my close friend get murdered by an evil wizard when I was fourteen which, by the way, was around the same time I started to think I might be gay. Anyone else?”
Teens on tumblr who have no idea he’s being completely serious: “This is the only man alive who truly Gets me.”
Hermione finds out about his channel because someone she went to primary school with posts it to Facebook and then she marathons his entire channel overnight to make sure he’s not going to get arrested for breaking the statute of secrecy
literally every sleep advice pamphlet and website: don’t do things before bedtime! no reading! no video games! don’t watch tv! nothing stimulating at all within two hours of going to bed! :)
me, an adhd: you fools. you buffoons. i can’t even manage one minute without stimulation. i will die before following this advice and that is a threat
if you suspect that your fans have figured out the plot of your amazing story, don’t panic. take a deep breath, eat some fruit, and destroy all the evidence
just because it “fits” doesnt mean its comfortable or sustainable stopppppppp this shit
There are two main factors at play when someone says that a condom is too small: (1) the band size is too small & (2) the condom is not sustainable
The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis.
Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable.
If your partner says a condom is too small, believe them and cease from doing anything that requires a condom. If your partner says a condom is too small but is trying to pressure you into unprotected sex, kick them out the door.
Thaaaank you please read the above they make large and XXL condoms for a reason and it’s not to stoke men’s egos
A former… friend suggested I try a size or two larger, and yes, they do work.
Yep. At first, I thought that condoms were supposed to be that tight. I’d seen those “condoms can fit on a two liter bottle so quit your complaining,” I had no basis for comparison because dudes don’t talk about that shit, and no one wants to be that “HURR HURR GUESS I NEED A MAGNUM XL” guy.
Now wear that condom on your arm for a while. Ten minutes at least. Still got sensation in your arm?
One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing).
But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.)
Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing.
And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case.
And don’t let anyone give you guff over it, and don’t let anyone pressure you into unprotected sex because of condom size.
For the record, even if you’re doing things that don’t involve a penis at all, condoms are good to have around. They make great dental dams on the fly, keep toys clean, and keep body parts clean if your partner is using their hands. :) Also, keep some non-latex ones around in case you or your partner has a latex allergy. Trust me, there are few places worse to have that allergic reaction. o_o
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
