Silver Tongue

oh-that-disney-princess-emily:

angel-baez:

that time Mandy was so annoyed with the plot that she got up and left the fucking episode

What the fuck was this show?

brunhiddensmusings:

jimmyfury:

grumpysgains:

cattarmerang:

pedro-martines:

pregnantseinfeld:

a-treus:

papasmoke:

papasmoke:

Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release

image
image

what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily

to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.

americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me

1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.

2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.

3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.

4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”

5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.

It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.

Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.

Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).

They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.

They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.

One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”

I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.

for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing

largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good

aroacedavestrider:
“ aampharros:
“ accordingtomyresearch:
“ drneverland:
“ one-for-all-plus-ultra:
“ themightyglamazon:
“ sexycraisinthanos:
“ themightyglamazon:
“ next-time-you-invite-pam:
“ justgot1:
“ lindsayribar:
“ gerrycanavan:
“ I’m afraid of...

aroacedavestrider:

aampharros:

accordingtomyresearch:

drneverland:

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

themightyglamazon:

sexycraisinthanos:

themightyglamazon:

next-time-you-invite-pam:

justgot1:

lindsayribar:

gerrycanavan:

 I’m afraid of Americans

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

also “that’s a great question” means “I have no freaking idea”

if asked “how are things going?” and they reply “its going” it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown

if you ask “how are you?” and we go “eh yknow” and dont elaborate thats pretty much us asking you to push us off a roof

The reason is because capitalism means we’ll get fired if we’re honest about how we feel at any given time

charamells:
“Villagers but cat
”

charamells:

Villagers but cat

ashton-slashton:

I’m really gonna need y'all, specifically cis white goyische folk, to use your brains for a fucking millisecond and understand that TERFs aren’t LITERALLY saying that trans people don’t bathe.

It’s a fucking goddamned Nazi dogwhistle and it isn’t even subtle.

image

So to all the cis white goys who are like “apparently showering is a white supremacist concept now” please for the love of GOD stop being so fucking dense.

TERFs aren’t LITERALLY referring to hygiene. They’re implying that trans folks are so inhuman, so repulsive, that we should be treated as a totally different species from them, and that any association with trans people could “contaminate” the “purity” of cis folks.

It’s horrifying. You should be horrified. And if you’re not, I’m just gonna fucking assume you agree with them.

warmhappycat:

itsthemissa:

kinetic-elaboration:

paramud:

black-geek-supremacy:

officialweatherwax:

lolotehe:

portentsofwoe:

soih:

kaijuno:

HR: if they work 40 hours a week u have to give them benefits

Big company: hmm okay. They shall work 39

HR: if they work 8 hours u have to give them a half hour lunch and intermittent breaks 

company: 7 hours and 50 minutes, it is 

the law: if theyre employees you have to pay for benefits

company: lets staff through a temp service and wait so long to hire them in they quit out of frustration

the law: You must pay them this and no less.

company: I shall pay them that and no more.

The law: you have to pay your employees

Company: then we’ll replace them all with interns

The law: you gotta increase wages

Company: we’ll cut hours

the law: you have to give raises

company: mayhaps they would enjoy an extra five cents

the law: employees have rights

company: around here we call them “independent contractors”

I swear EVERY SINGLE ONE of my employers has been at LEAST two of these at once.

Me, banging pots and pans together: UNIONIZE

turing-tested:

image

Theatre of Coolty