Silver Tongue

laughconfetti:

simquisitor:

dragon age loading screen: use tactics

me, blowing up my own party with a fireball: what the fuck are tactics

dragon age loading screen:

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togglesbloggle:

skluug:

fanderburker:

qrgirl-deactivated20220303:

the space race may be the funniest point in history period and i’ll stand by that. the US is like “yes whoever gets into space first will prove once and for all that our economic model is superior and that we are, in general, the superior country of superior and smarter people.” then the soviets just went and did it and the US freaked out and needed to cover their ass so were like “WE MEAN THE MOON, WE MEAN THE FIRST TO LAND ON THE MOON.”

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yeah its cus walking on the moon was cool as hell and all this other boring shit sucked ass

When I was a freshman in a red-state college, I had a professor who taught Newtonian physics with a super thick Russian accent.  The student body was unusually conservative for a state college, so there was a sort of general bemusement about learning physics from a Russian, but even back then the Cold War was far enough in the past that not even the red tribe was inclined to stir up trouble about it.

He was aware enough of this to get off on trolling the class, though.  Whenever some force diagram in a homework assignment needed to be weightless, instead of being some generic spacecraft it would be “Mir” specifically.  And he’d always use ‘cosmonaut’ instead of ‘astronaut’, that kind of thing.

One day about halfway through the semester, he’s doing this with in-class examples on the board, and one of the students finally gets up the guts to troll back a little.  So this kid shouts from the back of the auditorium, “Hey professor, what’s the difference between a cosmonaut and an astronaut?”

And this beautiful man spins around on one heel to face the class, whiteboard marker triumphantly over his head, clearly having been waiting for this moment the entire semester:

“Cosmonaut go to space first! Ha!”

willinghands:

soshinee:

“wet ass p-puss-🤢🤢 wet ass p- 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 i cant even say it 🤮🤢” - ben shapiro

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maxipaddy:

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John Mulaney on his way to murder Princess Diana

Reblog with an inside joke you have with your friends.

aroacedavestrider:

neon-green-erisolsprite:

eitheryouskateoryoudie:

violetfin-hskin:

nerdygit:

tinymugs:

slumberinggirl:

scarred-and-purrfect:

obi-punkenobi:

obi-punkenobi:

palethsharkstudent:

scarred-and-purrfect:

big-bang-holmes:

im-p-short:

grimlovely:

edgy-cowboy:

officialmemekinglotor:

theofficialkuro:

theofficialacxa:

storm-theory:

gay-but-not-for-pay:

medichell:

engiess:

nbraiko:

blacksamekichi:

npdredglare:

ocdmedic:

adventuretri:

kanhecki:

frist-over-easy:

Yes, Captain America has LEGS!

You’re telling me, a man in a luigi mask

tuck in baby

it all started in new jersey

scrom scrom

“uuuuhuhhhhuu i just smoked AWUALL of FUKAWMIS WEED AWUUWW SHIT, AWUUEE SHIT”

Marisa and I went for a walk and saw a disposable camera.

strangerly

“I’m more thirsty than anything”

NOOT NOOT,

*soft whisper* what’s on the menu

*screaming*

L E G S

Tea Saloon and Garden are P!ATD’s best songs

The blood moon has risen

Thots are people too

Captain America is a thigh

Jimmy don’t touch that

John LaUrEnSS!!!! 

@landshark122

I’m looking for some butter/cornbread

Dolphin @palethsharkstudent

Thank you

Ol Johnny Pencilfingers

Faceless Chewbacca slippers @scarred-and-purrfect

Goddamit Adam

LICK THE FACE

Daddy long legs

Lmqo

-GERALD (pronounced ger-ahld)

-how are you?H I 

-420 smeel

I ROLL TO KILL HONL

Owen fucks pianos on a daily basis

HEY ROGER NICE ART

Schrödinger’s (object)

please, please someone let me spleep

oh he does NOT run track

NO TEETH FOUR LEG

is there a BasEmEnt??

two plus three is five ..

I GOT A P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-PONYTAIL

“i want [inedible item]” “like for lunch?”

MR SNEAKY NO !!!!!!

the jar

surprisebitch:

feminist-space:

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this is why you self-quarantine until your results after getting tested

tragedycamp-archive:

twitter makes me so uncomfortable because weirdness on there is so performative…when someone is weird on tumblr you know they’re eating drywall in life for real….

monsterdyke:

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hey i dont use onlyfans but this seems important!!!!

archivvitch:

mrmosebysfandom:

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@machamp your tags are perfect

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xxtc-96xx:

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you did this to me, now I can’t unhear it