Silver Tongue

yamchass:

:

really do not like jokes that equate gay to liking dicks and lesbian to liking pussy. 😐

image
clickbaitcowboy:
“The Sole Survivors youtube channel would be like this
”

clickbaitcowboy:

The Sole Survivors youtube channel would be like this

proxykitkat:

bugtypez:

wizardshark:

gunbirbs:

i know all the words to fergalicious but not the original

this post made my blood freeze in my veins

@marionetteartist

We didn’t start the fire started playing at the restaurant today.

I nearly cried.

captain-snark:
“ seigephoenix:
“ psychotictea:
“ thewellofastarael:
“Fun fact: the reason wearing seatbelts became common in the US was because kids were trained to in school, and would constantly bug their parents to wear their own seatbelts. In my...

captain-snark:

seigephoenix:

psychotictea:

thewellofastarael:

Fun fact: the reason wearing seatbelts became common in the US was because kids were trained to in school, and would constantly bug their parents to wear their own seatbelts. In my mom’s words, everyone was shamed by little children into behaving safely.

This is how I got my mom to quit smoking,,, by annoying the everloving shit oughta her at age 7

My 8 year old looked at a man in the airport (when I had to fly her to her Dad’s for the summer) and the sass came out in 3 ways.

First: She would constantly ask why someone wasn’t wearing a mask, loudly. “It’s not like it’s hard.”

Second: Standing in line to get food she noticed ome guy behind us wasn’t adhering to the 6 feet guidelines. She turned to him. “Six feet please.” He was so surprised he stepped back automatically. But then glared at me as I shrugged. “Rules are rules dude. She did say please.”

Third: A woman sneezed on the other side of the terminal waiting area. She was joined by a couple other kids for this one. “If you cough or sneeze, use your elbow please.” Honestly half of us were trembling to keep in the laughter and the others were just shocked to hear kids speak up like that.

hearing a five year old yell across the yard that the neighbors were having a party and “its illegal!” is hysterical. 

rianncreates:
“ ottosgotanothergun:
“ friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
“ black-labs-matter:
“ How opossums help fight ticks and Lyme disease
”
Thanks!
” ”
The face of a true hero
”
mymagicgrandpa:
“ Ch 4 begins!
Go check it out! (Can’t link because tumblr will hide it)
Chapter Plot: In order to make it easier to take Suzie on adventures undetected, Coach and Suzie are looking for a girl who’s not quite what she seems. It may be...

mymagicgrandpa:

Ch 4 begins!

Go check it out! (Can’t link because tumblr will hide it)

Chapter Plot: In order to make it easier to take Suzie on adventures undetected, Coach and Suzie are looking for a girl who’s not quite what she seems. It may be more of a challenge than they thought.

moon-rise:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

lastoneout:

jayalaw:

goth-aunt:

image
image

I am screaming lmao also this reminds me of @rosewater1997

@kingofthewilderwest

I really do love that people have legitimately always just been people. Like how many angry breakup texts have their been that end with “Come get your stuff or I’m donating it to goodwill”? People never change.

The concubine after reading this:

image

This is my new breakup format