Silver Tongue
incorrectfmaquotes:
“(submitted by silver-tongues-blog)
”

yourplayersaidwhat:

Gnome Warlock: Is there any paladin magic you can use to-

Orc Paladin: To heal myself? I think so.

Gnome Warlock: No, i was gonna say to kill them all

yourplayersaidwhat:

Bard: So the big bad event is going to happen on the same day tiamat returns… Fuck… We’re gonna die arent we

DM: you arent…. well shit, i was gonna say you arent gonna die but then i remembered i literally just killed one of you a few minutes ago

The word youre looking for is “sought”

yourplayersaidwhat:

Fish Demon NPC: You would not have seek me out… seeked me? see…

Gnome Warlock: Sucked

Fish Demon NPC: You would have not sucked me.. no thats not it

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM angrily: At this rate your army’s gonna consist of living gemstones and souls trapped inside robots

Gnome warlock OOC: Hey youre the one who said we should build an army!

DM angry but still laughing: I DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY

outofcontextdnd:

Theres a thousand ways you could have described david bowie and that was NONE of them!

I dont know what we’re doing. I just arrived here and blew up an elk
kobold necromancer (via yourplayersaidwhat)
fuckyeahfluiddynamics:
“ When looking at Mars and other parts of our solar system, planetary scientists are faced with a critical question: if what I’m looking at is similar to something on Earth, did it form the same way it does here? (Image and...

profsplosion:

unadulteratedpiratepizza:

unclefather:

image

SCP 3008

The wording of this indicates this was two different crimes