no offense but I heard the evil scientist say he likes studying me better than you
Then why’s he up all night diluting my saliva? Check and mate.
well IM getting moved to a separate chamber tonight so he can keep an eye on me. What about that?
Please, he hasn’t even probed your mind yet. Besides, yesterday he told me that my blood diagnostics were, “abnormal” and “potentially hazardous”. How could you possibly compete with that?
*telekinesis throws a soda can at your head*
How dare you!!! Evil Scientist!!! Evil Scientist they’re resorting to violence!!! I do not feel very enriched right now!!! I need a bandage and an IV of juice!!!
this is exactly the behavior i’m talking about. You still need juice rewards and screens. I have evolved past these childish activities, I am a model experiment
*sounds of an evil scientist hurriedly scribbling down notes*
I don’t know who Megan Kelly is but I wanna piss her off
dis bitch
“Verifiable fact” 😭😂
I’d PISS ON HER tbh
btw Saint Nicholas, whom Santa Claus is based on, was a black guy
and we don’t know exactly what jesus looked like, but here’s an artistic reconstruction of an average 20-something male from his ethnic group at the time
DOES THIS LOOK FUCKING WHITE TO YOU
I want this post everywhere
jesus was represented more or less accurately as an ethnically jewish arab man up until the reign of pope alexander vi, in the late 15th century. since he was viciously persecuting roman jews during this time, alexander wanted to make them less sympathetic to the public, and did so in part by ordering that portrayals of jesus be based off of his son, cesare borgia.
the reason “jesus is white” is because someone purposefully attempted to alter the perception of history to benefit his goal of persecuting a targeted ethnic group.
Ooh, interesting historical note.
I don’t usually share posts like this but I always want to piss off Megan Kelly
Canon Santa not fanon Santa
The bible canon’s been muddled so much that Jesus could be a bald asian trans woman for all we know
Reblogging mainly for the takedown of the Borgias and Jesus looking like a young Jeff Goldblum in the reconstruction.
I think this was the most accurate recreation of what jesus would have looked like
what if you came over to my stately manse and into my tastefully decorated living room where there was a fire roaring and all manner of art and vases and sculptures but then above the mantle this star trek trading card was in a little frame
Yes he got like that by being so hormonally addled that he tried to fight a tree. But try to tell me a forest god wouldn’t have big leafy antlers just like that if he were to take a physical form.
Extremely City white people are so fucking weird they see a pic of a deer and theyre like “its an Old God, tell me the wisdom of the trees Forest Lord … wow this is just like game of thrones” its a deer. Its a fucking stupid idiot animal it doesnt know shit
who says the old gods aren’t stupid animals who are so hormonally addled they’d try to fight a tree
Look, I’ve lived a good chunk of my childhood in a halfway abandoned mountain village in the middle of nowhere. Which meant wildlife galore whether you liked it or not.
And that meant sometimes we saw a deer in the middle of the road at midnight and the majestic motherfucker just stared us down until my mom shredded our tires to stop from hitting him. Once we stopped he did a little half-bow as if saying ‘You have not committed an act of godslayer this night. Your bloodline shall bear no curse of mine’, and walked away chill as you please.
The next day a neighbor told us a deer with fucking big antlers got tangled in his fence because it was trying to steal his grapes.
I went on a hike with another neighbor to collect yarrow for tea. A bear came out of the woods towards us, went on its hind legs and inquiringly roared. And he pushed me, tiny as I was back then, behind me out of sight and spread his jacket wide to make himself seem bigger than he already was. He let out a sound I had not known humans were capable of making. He and the bear looked at each other for a moment, and came to an understanding. The bear went down and walked away, respecting a powerful opponent protecting its young.
A week ago, there had been a bear that completely tore apart our trashcan and gorged itself on half-fermented apples we threw away. My cousin had to chase it away, drunk out of its tiny fucking mind, with an umbrella that made weird noises when opened. The bear ran for its life, crashed into our wall, fell on its ass, and scampered away.
I was playing on a swing once, all alone, and a fox came up to me, the most beautiful animal I had seen in my ten years of life. Thinking it wanted to pass, I stopped swinging and sat still not to spook it. But instead of passing, the fox circled the swing, found it wanting, and came to sit before me perfectly poised and looked me in the eye, and I could swear it wished to tell me something but I could not understand the language spoken before human time.
Then my mom came out of the nearby inn, shrieked at the fox and swung her purse to chase it away. The fox jumped, ran off and fell into a ditch, all notions of grace gone with the wind.
What I’m saying is: the old gods are absolutely idiot animals who embraced the life of constant sex and hedonism in return for losing their higher power. Whether or not they regret it, we’ll never know.
Well the Old Gods are old. In the same way your grandparents are old. They’re a font of experience and wisdom, they’ve survived wars, famine, poverty–but they’re thwarted by a smartphone. The Great Stag understands “car” in the same way he understands “challenger.” He understands “fence” in the same way he understands “brambles” or “underbrush.” He can handle plant fiber in his way but metal might be a bit beyond him. The Old Gods understand their ways. The Great Stag can can give you the wisdom of being a stag, but humans aren’t stags, so not all of his wisdom applies to our experience. If you promise not to hunt in his forest for a year and a day, he’ll show the trails his herd uses so that you can get out of the woods faster. Maybe you’ll keep that memory, maybe you won’t. If you do remember, you are responsible for being a stewart.
Some believe the Old Gods are livinggods. There’s no one single Mother Bear. It’s a title that gets passed on. The beings are inhabited by divine force much older and deeper than any human can imagine. Picture a pebble being thrown into a pond. Each new incarnation is like a new ripple expanding outward. If the Old Gods are living beings then they are limited and falliable. They make mistakes and are prone to embarrassment. Like we all are. Instead of merely venerating them, sympathize with them.
Behold, the rare sight of an Old God interacting with something new:
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
