dragon-in-a-fez:

thoodleoo:

• if you call someone to witness and they refused to show up, you are legally entitled to stand outside their house and scream, but only every third day
  
• you can sell your son into slavery once or twice, but after the third time he doesn’t have to put up with that shit anymore
• no wailing allowed at funerals
• also you can only have ONE funeral per person, don’t get greedy
• if your neighbor’s tree has a branch hanging into your yard, you can legally cut down the entire fucking tree
• however, if some of your neighbor’s fruit from his dumb tree falls into your yard, he can legally come into your yard to snoop around get it
• if you call someone to witness and they’re too sick or old to get to court themselves, you have to provide a cart for them to come in, but it doesn’t have to be, like, a nice cart if you don’t want it to

the best thing about this is that each of these things must have happened at least once

pukicho:

carbonoid:

dr-chalk:

I am the hero you didn’t know you needed

degeneratepai:

kaijuno:

“Starter house”?????? We’re supposed to have more than one house???????

baece:

beetledrink:

beetledrink:

oh good to know the tumblr staff team has gone completely insane

sir im gonna need to see your male nipple license

sir that is my emotional support female nipple

salty-blue-mage:

@staff deleting all porn while ignoring blogs promoting violence, bigotry, and hate speech

wereralph:

amtrax:

Everyone to staff: fix it

Staff:

THIS POST GOT FLAGGED IM LITERALLY GOING TO SHIT

recentgooglesearches:

how to determine the gender of my nipples