Silver Tongue

dogrocks:

dogrocks:

watching supernanny is so surreal because it’s like my cat from hell where 99.9% of the time it’s always the parents fucking up and never the kids as they’re just abiding by how they’ve been raised

parents: my children are spawns of satan, every day i wake up to them screaming and running around the home where they’re always knocking shit over and causing a mess. they are so rude and they never calm down and we’re on our last legs because we want a divorce because of them

supernanny: do they have any toys?

parents: do they have any what

traegorn:

closet-keys:

When I was a kid I was genuinely horrified by the idea of growing up and I think a large part of it was the insistence by adults in my life that puberty would turn me into someone completely different. They were like “sure you don’t like make up and boys now but you’ll feel differently after puberty” or like “sure you think you wouldn’t want kids now but you’ll see once you’re older”

it’s like damn, stop invalidating kids’ personalities and listen to them and maybe you won’t be so shocked when they don’t transform into a new person later

My wife and I don’t ever plan on having kids, but my Dad always had one piece of parenting advice I’ll never forget.

He said “Pay attention to who your children are when they’re little. If you do that, you’ll never be surprised at who they become. The only people who think kids suddenly become other people when they hit adolescence are the ones who never listened to what their kids were telling them the whole time.”

notedchampagne:

its just a word, right?

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hustlerose:

(terf voice) you claim to be female and yet just yesterday you posted that you were, and i quote, “cock dick balling.” 

supercatwarrior:
“ dekutree:
“ im only 9, clefairy
”
Accurate representation of finals.
”

supercatwarrior:

dekutree:

im only 9, clefairy

Accurate representation of finals.

dynamax–grookey:

megashuckle:

This is an underrated joke

You say joke but

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emperorsfoot:

fated-lab-partners:

giddy-goblin:

I’m living for the new fiction trend where the Terrifying Monster Husband™ absolutely can’t stop doting on his non-monster wife and he loves her unconditionally, always, it gets me every time

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add your own if you got em because I literally can’t get enough of this content

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Originally posted by moldy-junk

“New” trend? :/

Not only has this trend been going on since the 90s

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It’s been going on since humans could paint on pots…

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not-quite-the-killer-queen:

dyke-vriska:

re-brandhaver:

maxrobby:

i think the hip new trans thing to do should be choosing as inconvenient a name as possible. like, you have a sibling of the same gender? choose their name. choose ur parent’s name. choose ur pet’s name. choose ur best friend’s name. make ur name a common noun (that isn’t already a name like lane is). call urself “chair.” open the dictionary to a random page and point, now That’s ur name. have a different name for each day of the week

Good morning I’m Swim and I’m here to be fucking nuisance

whats up my name is nineteen i’m nineteen years old and i never learned how to read

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thewisemankey:
“ picsthatmakeyougohmm:
“hmmm
”
THEY CAUGHT HIM.
”

thewisemankey:

picsthatmakeyougohmm:

hmmm

THEY CAUGHT HIM.

goldie-ghost:
“are the pokemon designers like… okay?
”

goldie-ghost:

are the pokemon designers like… okay?