asexualhunterhollingsworth:

when youre the serial killer, mafioso, werewolf, or arsonist in town of salem + ppl suspect u

clientsfromhell:

Client: My internet doesn’t work!

Me: Can you tell me what you see on the computer screen?

Client: It’s black!

Me: Is your computer turned on?

Client: Of course it is! the green light is on!

Me: Can you try restarting the computer?

Client: I can’t – the tower is in the shop!

Me: …

Me: So the green light is on your monitor?

Client: Yeah! My computer!

thegraphicginger:

Bowsette gains the power-up of UNDERSTANDING.

intelligentchristianlady:

What a wonderful initiative! Spread the word.

jinzlers:

dinolaur:

poetic:

Guys buying their girlfriends tampons.

I’M CRYING

i wasn’t paying attention to the names and read this like one dude’s journey down the tampon aisle 

Option C: an adventuring party of four, all messaging the same questgiver

greatwhiteprivilege:

serbianslayer:

firefoxed:

why would a candle thats already lit want to be with a match

also her being lit is going to eventually melt her and reduce her to nothing

match guy is an abusive sadboy who thinks he’s the victim when candlegirl just wants someone who will keep her alive

im here for this analysis

fungalslime:

fungalslime:

fungalslime:

Drawer with teeth at goodwill

I went to goodwill to get some clothes. I saw a drawer. There was teeth inside. The drawer was 100 dollars including the teeth

Well I went to goodwill to get some clothes and I saw a drawer and opened it and there was teeth :)

nessamiibo:

Full Metal alchemist

ammit420:

my entire concept of how stocks work is the same thing as the tim & eric skit where they just sold prices