Silver Tongue

confessionsofanerd:

honeymoonavenue:

jennifer’s body (2009)

This movie gets funnier every year that I get older

sketiana:

mate who the fuck is in charge of netflix. “tall girl” they made a movie abt a 16 yo pretty rich smart healthy white american girl whos only issue in life is that shes 6'1. like not to act smart but im pretty sure theres at least 50 other different more pressing issues to represent in films rn than being 20 cm taller than your classmates. whats next ‘hi im juniper 17 my dad is billiam gates but im a gemini :(’

mymanic:

Fuck this is the funniest thing ever

poondragoon:

sisyphusshrugged:

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Bad news: your kid is the neighborhood cryptid.

Good news: you can get that on a bumper sticker

chefpyro:

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terfs stay away from my fucking posts challenge

vitamindave:
“ khealywu:
“ Assorted cheese hell………yes
”
are we not going to talk about the poem below that
”

vitamindave:

khealywu:

Assorted cheese hell………yes

are we not going to talk about the poem below that

woke-up-on-derse:

nuka-rockit:

ranma-official:

Hey, everyone

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guess what

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getting that its one picture and not four, but not getting the meme at first, is like effortlessly moving out of the way of a cyclist on the sidewalk by jumping into oncoming traffic

noxiousea:

salsayama:

anti-clockwise-turntech:

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-

celestiyal:

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same energy

coniello:

the other day i was perusing the dessert options in the dining hall and this group of absolute stereotypical frat boy types were also milling around the desserts and one of them pointed to the strawberry pastries and said to the others “what’s the vibe with these, boys?” and i haven’t been able to get that sentence out of my head since

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bless y’all

bonus:

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aplatonicjacuzzi:

heatherleigh02-deactivated20230:

chasing-asterion:

unclefather:

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

old people: let me speak to your manager. This never would have happened in my day. And yet you all want the minimum wage raised. I’m going to kill you.

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

millennials: okay, my apologies. I apologize for the inconvenience. I’m sorry I’m here.

me, walking into a store: are you guys busy? i can come back later. please don’t push yourselves on my account. things happen

Had a baby boomer in front of me at the Dairy Queen. She INSISTED she was a Blizzard EXPERT and there was simply NOT ENOUGH chocolate pieces in her blizzard and she wanted to complain to “whoever is in charge”. She’s going on and on with this teenager. The teenager is calmly explaining they make them all the same etc etc procedure etc etc. But this woman is now yelling at the teen.

So I walk past the woman and put money in teen’s tip jar. Haven’t even gotten ice cream yet.

Woman looks at me. Turns back and yells some more with the teen. I put more money in the tip jar.

The teen smiles at me. The woman can’t think of what to say to me and stops yelling, because I’m looking at her dead in the eye like “atm is over there, I can go all night. The more you yell at her, the more money she makes.”

Aggressive generosity to combat boomer selfishness is so punk