gordon-freeman-official:

tilthat:

TIL J. R. R. Tolkien received from a fan a goblet with the Ring inscription on it in Black Speech. Because the Black Speech in general is an accursed language, and the Ring inscription in particular is a vile spell, Tolkien never drank out of it, and used it only as an ashtray.

via reddit.com

“I know I made this up but I’m still not taking chances”

Tolkien, probably

crustybagelbites:

mc fucking obliterated

standard-dingo:

dolley-madison:

direlog:

powerburial:

im going to cry

oh my god stop cyberbullying Jeb Bush you’re making me pity him

trans-giles:

trans-giles:

you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

Equally good variant: when the character says smth like “what’s the worse that could happen?” and it cuts to a scene where it’s so much worse than what they imagined

purpleorange:

Pink Diamond in Hanbok.

(you know…. rose of sharon is Korea’s national flower…and PD’s palanquin was found in Korea…..)

zeldafigueros:

_{Brooklyn Nine-Nine Hiatus Creations:}

week five → captain raymond holt

_{“C’mon, sir. The math thing isn’t the problem. Night shift’s keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.”— s04.ep08 | Skyfire Cycle}

spacecatdraws:

have i mentioned i love my friends

mbulteau:

cry-is-trash13:

pocmemes:

vinebox:

i’m so in love with this bath bomb 😍

I had a server tell me about how he was harassed into going to a church baptism ceremony by a not so close friend and to get them off his back he agreed

He decided some time before that of he was going to be forced to do this he might as well have fun with it right? So he goes to lush and buys one of the black bath bombs, and cuts it in half.

Now fast forward to the day of and he is wearing a small harness under his shirt that is keeping both haves of the bath bomb, one either shoulder blade.

He volunteers to get baptised

They take him up put him in the white robe and then he waits for his turn. Now the friend who invited him had no clue what he is doing. They are pleasantly surprised to see him participating.

Honestly. A mistake on their part.

I only knew this guy for a max of 45 minutes and I could already tell this dude was a chaos entity.

So his turn comes up and they go to dunk him and the water immediately starts to foam and turn black and he starts screaming like a banchee jumps out the water and hisses at the priest

Everyone fucking lost it and he was banned from ever attending that church again.

So yeah all in all seems like a great thing to do for a hilarious story

it got better

asparklethatisblue:

When you’re used to living alone, but suddenly your in-laws moved in and they spent an entire century without any regard for each other’s privacy…

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