garrettauthor:

callmebliss:

kazoomusic:

kazoomusic:

lauramkaye:

thehypnobunny:

the-late-adopter:

shitifindon:

drethelin:

ozymandias271:

what does “men who adhere to strict gender binary” even mean tho

NO ONE adheres to the gender binary! NO ONE FITS THEIR GENDER ROLE PERFECTLY! THAT’S THE POINT! AARRRGGH! 

NOOOOO OOOOONE…. ADHERES TO THE GENDER BINARY LIKE GASTON!

Originally posted by clarabellecow

when I try to hear this in my head my mental voice is incapable of pronouncing it fast enough to fit the timing of the line

“noooo oooone… adjksjfksfjslenry like Gaston!”

and when I try to fit it to one of the longer such lines, my mental voice becomes too confused about conflicting scansion to continue

no one’s droll like gaston
no one’s swole like gaston
no one fits his assigned gender role like gaston

I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy
My what a guy that gastooon

Bless you for making it scan

NOW I CAN’T READ IT WITHOUT SINGING IN MY HEAD

No one’s droll like Gaston,
No one’s swole like Gaston,
No one fits his assigned gender role like Gaston!
For there’s no one online half as phony,
His tinder’s got dick pics to spare,
You can ask any neckbeard or brony
They’ll show you (no homo) whose trilby they’d wear!
No one drawls like Gaston
Or catcalls like Gaston,
Or manspreads on the train in a sprawl like Gaston!
I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy!
My what a guy that Gastooon!

…I’m not sorry.

never be sorry for this, it is glorious

Oh shit tumblr has a new best post how come no one told me.

vampireapologist:

People who promote juice cleanses and like Consuming charcoal literally sound like “doctors” in Ancient Greece who thought people could get “hysteria” when their uterus moved around the body at will towards and away good or bad smells like stop trying to get me to go on a liquid diet I know it’s you Pliny The Elder

end-cringe:

I ghost wrote this

pochowek:

youtuber stumbling upon old electronic toy with a busted sound chip: how is this POSSIBLE how is this toy making such.. satanic sounds. i dont think its physically possible. i literally dont think this is possible guys.. im not faking this. im not making this up i am SO creeped out right now. toys dont do that. i literally think this toy is possessed. (2 million views)

waterbending:

disney can remove shang from the live action mulan movie but they will NEVER be able to erase the fact that in the original movie shang was clearly attracted to mulan when he thought she was a guy and is therefore bisexual

kosmonin:

snarky-gourmet:

madisondavenports:

definitelyshitty:

tyronesuplac:

definitelyshitty:

velvetqueer:

uhmwillowsomething:

huesosmccoy:

why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that

uh 

because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”

and not the slang word for the female genital region?

literally no one else knows this. nobody. 

WHAT

Sensational.

Remarkable.

it’s a real word

you: pussy

me, an intellectual: pusillanimous

zakuro-san:

lesbian-elric:

ed: (opens the portal of truth to get tf out of gluttony)

truth: why are you here again you stupid fucking baby

ed, with like 8 broken bones and a mild concussion: bold of you to assume i have any idea of what the fuck im doing ever

I am an utter fool AND UTTER FUCKING FOOL BECAUSE MY MONKEY BRAIN READ THIS WHOLE THING IN ED’S VOICE FROM ED EDD & EDDY NOT FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FSGYUHSgyUOFGASYUOFSLAJGFYSIfSA

“never assume you knwo what youre doing because youre doing it wrong” 

after messing with some fae artifacts my tabaxi grew horns and can glow