Silver Tongue
go on, you’ve earned it.

unclefather:

slitherpunk:

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Mmm. Jolly ranchers.

thecutestcatever:

uguuuchan:

gimme sammich

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gib bagul

earthdad:

zackisontumblr:

earthdad:

i suck titties like i put on pants

one leg at a time…?

one leg at a time

cosmicastrogazer:

suchprettypride:

probablybadrpgideas:

Refuse to differentiate between important and unimportant information in your scene descriptions.

“Looking around the ruined street you see a few burnt out houses, various bits of rubble, 4000 demons pointing swords at you, a pile of knocked over street signs and a stray cat.”

All your players, immediately: I PET THE CAT

“The 4000 demons immediately lower their blades, as you have successfully shown proper tribute to She Who Walks the Shadows, The Bitter Talon, The Dark Queen of the Pit, Mrs. Flufferbutt.”

yourplayersaidwhat:

Bard:  I could go up to him before the round begins and tell him hes my father

DM: what, youre gonna whisper “daddy” in his ear? that will go over well

Rogue: now thats what I call a dissonant whisper

bassiter:

salemwitchtrials:

Harvest mouse on a dandelion by Dean Mason

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browsedankmemes:
“Not taking any chances
”

browsedankmemes:

Not taking any chances

findingblissinignorance:

MARK ZUCKERBERG

penicillium-pusher:

Asked my mom for a binder for Christmas

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No, mom, that’s not….

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Oh I see what you did there

dorsalvania:

this is one of my favorite simpsons gags ever and a photoset wouldn’t do it justice