One day I’ll get hormones and when I got titties of my own it’s so over for you fuckers
Big Boss: *scarfs down an entire lizard* hrrhrghrgh
half the cast of MGS: hooooo boy i can’t not fuck him
hes a modern day rasputin
forensic files narrator: … and he left his finger prints on the door knob…
me eating my 5th mozzarella stick: you absolute fucking idiot
i’d be really curious to know what percent of queerbaiting is
a) an intentional marketing scheme to stir interest in the project and attract certain fanbases (lgbtq people and young women) vs.
b) members of the creative team genuinely wanting to write queer characters but the corporate side of things forcing them to tone it down vs.
c) they legitimately did not realize how gay something would come across
d) fandoms shipping two people who stand next to each other for 4 seasons and never have a speaking role
every potterstuck au neglects the idea of alpha rose sending dirk and hal to hogwarts and the following bullshit that only two rowdy boys from texas could pull
‘Why do I need to take defense against the dark arts? I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn’t factor into the solution at least in some way.”
hal enchants a mcdonalds cup to keep his sweet tea cold and all of the other students are horrified
hal: YAINT
all of the other students, crying:“What do you MEAN it takes dark magic to splinter my soul? I did it like. twice before breakfast yesterday. Is that not supposed to happen?”
he figures out the enchant to make the statues alive so he can fight them hand to hand
