So apparently Alchemy is a subject taught at Hogwarts and I bet all the muggleborn students have a fuckin field day with that one like can you imagine
Some poor, unsuspecting Hogwarts professor: Alright class, welcome to your first Alchemy lesson. Now, can anyone tell me what alchemy is?
Every muggleborn student in haunting unison: Alchemy is the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all powerful art. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. This “equivalent exchange” is alchemys first law…
The same poor, unsuspecting Hogwarts professor: today class, we will learn about a curious creature of legends in alchemy, the chimera-
Every muggleborn immediately bursts into tears and horrified shouts
The very tired Hogwarts professor: alright class, who can tell me the price of dabbling in alchemy without proper guidance or restraint?
A very cheeky student, probably Seamus Finnegan: an arm and a leg
so glad illumination hasnt picked up on this live action remake trend because seeing a minion rendered in photorealistic cgi might just be the one thing capable of breaking me
Originally arrested for Insurance Fraud, he met the love of his life Phillip Morris in prison
He got out before Phillip, so he proceeded to GET PHILLIP OUT OF PRISON
He wanted to give Phillip a glamourous life, so he got a big-name job, and then started embezzling funds
he was arrested and then broke out TWICE MORE and kept busting out
then he was arrested again, and the above happened
while he was on the run from this, he was determined to get Phillip (who was in trouble for harboring him) out of prison so he pretended to be a lawyer and hit up Phillip’s jail 24/7. He tried to get Phillip moved to a prison closer to where he was hiding so he couLD VISIT HIM
AND THEN he made a fake identity and tried to get a 75k loan, and was arrested AGAIN, but he FAKED A HEART ATTACK AND LEFT BEFORE HE WAS EVEN PLACED IN PRISON AGAIN
There’s a movie about his life called “I love you, phillip morris” Starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor
Seriously go watch I Love You Philip Morris, it’s literally just a “be gay do crime” rom com there’s no killing your gays or angsty plot messes, the comedy is amazing and it’s sweet and I’d die for it
Beautiful big almond eye, realistic and full of expression as she gazes gently at you. Elbowed antennae and delicately segmented legs and body. Gorgeous pearlescent sheen like she is glowing. This ant moisturizes. This ant is round and huggable. This ant is a star. 11/10.
Beautifully detailed, lifelike pose but with an unexpected neck and odd antennae, perhaps scared straight. Her eyes suggest she has seen things. Her expression confirms she has seen too much. She is haunted and I want to know more. 7/10.
Floppy antenna, pointy muppet face, oddly posed legs. What is she? She has no waist. May be she is some kind of bee in disguise? I find her unsettling. 3/10.
This ant has an unexplained, double-jointed thorax, and no evidence of a waist. Her four-footed pose suggests that she a centaur rather than an ant. Centaur ants would be cool. I’m not sure what was intended here. 2/10.
Good first impression, kind of bland in the details. This ant has no particular waist to speak of, floppy rather than elbowed antennae, and an inexpressive face. Her color scheme is soft and hazy. I like the sharp angles of her stylishly sophisticated legs. This ant may not know quite were she is going, but she knows how she is getting there. 6/10.
Were you even trying. 0/10
Gasp! This ant is elegant. This ant has a beautiful tapered thorax, a segmented abdomen, alert, elbowed antennae, and a light-footed pose. This ant’s face suggests curiosity and a desire to explore the world. This ant inspires me. I want to be like her. 10/10
3-legged, waistless centaur-ant with strange, limp antennae and a beak. I don’t know what this is? It kind of reminds me of a Hork-Bajir. 1/10, not an ant.
This ant… makes me sad. All of her legs are broken. The MS Paint art style and gradient abuse convey distress. She has a duck beak. Despite this, her expression suggests perseverance and determined cheerfulness. I want this ant to have a better life. I am rooting for her. 3/10
This ant is a bold and challenging mixture of photorealism and caricature. She is broad and low-built and seems very sturdy. She looks like she would help you move. This ant is a dependable friend. 9/10
A picture of an ant from a children’s book. She is wearing little boots. This ant is wrong in every way, and yet I can’t stay mad at her. 7/10
An interesting, top-down view of an ant; her legs are positioned with slightly jarring symmetry. Nevertheless, her overall impression is that of a graceful, stylized design, like a pictograph. She is suitable for adorning fine garments and jewelry or perhaps gracing the walls of a tiny ant church. I like this minimalist ant. 8/10.
This is a termite. -10/10
why are these all marked as “she”? don’t female ants have wings??? why bother adding the pronoun???
Alates (male and female reproductives) have wings. The queens shed their wings after they mate. The males die. The daughter workers do not have wings. If you see an ant without wings, it’s a she.
And honestly—why bother panicking about things being called “she”? It’s not like I need a reason to gender a bug. I do it all the time. It’s fun. It’s humanizing. They don’t care.
I’m calling this spider she right now. 🕷️ her name is delanie. she’s a lesbian.
This post was such a delightful trip from beginning to end.
This is super random and not related to anything but; why do the heroes in movies stay on the phone while the villain threatens them??
It seems really obvious that the moment the villain goes into threatening mode, you should just like… hang up… Now ya don’t know what the villain was trying to get you to do, so any threat is inconsequential. The villain has to find a new way to get the information to you. You got more time to figure out how to defeat them. Win-win.
“I’m gonna-”
*CLICK*
*sinister surprised sputtering* “Did they just…HANG UP on me???”
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
