Bowsers legit like… “hahahahah im going to kill you and steal ur princess, oh wait hold on, my kid just called, oh I gotta pick him up from school he’s sick, can we postpone this for how about… hm… Is luigi able to babysit tomorrow?”
This is of course because it’s literally Nintendo canon that they’re actors playing roles and on their days off they play tennis and race go-carts together.
Me modding skyrim: I love immersive mods like realistic needs and enhancements, they add a whole new level of depth and complexity to the game.
*Ten mods later*
That’s…that’s too much depth, no, stop reel it back…
Fuck.
I’m in a vampire den and just got my period. This is fine. Also does anyone have a tampon.
Fucking up in here running around doubled over with cramps and some edgelord goth kid is shooting lightning bolts at me. Fucking dick.
Protip, bandits carry a good supply of tampons. Which is great cause nowhere seems to sell them, or if they do they’re in some back alley where I can’t find them. Also you have to make your own contraception, cause apparently Skyrim is the Bible Belt of Tamriel.
Found some fucking witches in the wild brewing contraception over a fire and selling “abortus” spells. Fucking bad ass bitches. #Istandwithplannedparenthood
Shame I had to murder them for eating people.
So to summarize I’ve got soul destroying depression, I’m hungry and I have to keep murdering people for tampons, but at least I can fuck my werewolf boyfriend without consequences 👍👍👍
Some of the instructions for this mod are a little unclear but if I am reading this correctly I have a 61% increased chance of random sperm encounter from being at the Docks.
I am uncomfortable.
Joy I just want you to know that I am literally crying from laughing right now and also tea just came up my nose thank you for this.
The fuck is a random sperm encounter? Like… the whale or the reproductive cell?
Hey Smash player Ally, turn on your location, I just want to talk 🔪🔪🔪
Doesn’t beating a high-tier character with a mid-tier character require much MORE skill? Like isn’t that entire point of a tier list?
Please watch shes so good
Both of their characters are spammy projectile zoners, but I’ve never seen an Isabelle with such raw skill that didnt rely entirely on their specials. She played so clean.
it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
