yourplayersaidwhat:

-After beating a giant rat to find a large cache of cheese-

Rogue: Cheese…that’s all?
Paladin: Doesn’t sound like you’re having a gouda day.
Ranger: I don’t see your problem, cheese is grate.
Cleric: I don’t disabrie.
DM: Rogue, make a will saving throw.
Rogue: ….6.
DM: You take 5 points of damage and have disadvantage on your will saving throws until you take a rest

banishedquasiroyal:

my little brother and his friend are playing dungeons and dragons now and he told me that his character is a neutral evil half orc rogue named Nicholas (Flamel) Cage and that his friend is Mindfang. anyway i can’t describe what i’m feeling rn but it sure is good

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

“Thank you POTUS for putting parents in cages with their children instead of putting children in cages by themselves like you were fully willing to do previously”

rosexknight:

0-memento-mori-0:

gluten-free-pussy:

beachdeath:

Tbh after Sandyhook, that was when I knew the conversation surrounding guns in America was dead. If nothing was done when these babies were murdered, nothing will ever be done

America didn’t. care. when 1st grade Children were massacred. There is nothing in the world that is going to stop guns in the USA. Not a damn thing.

We all know this. And it’s nauseating.

I don’t usually touch the gun issue on my blog but like…Yeah this post speaks for itself and it’s really sickening that it’s now 2018 and nothing has changed…

smitethepatriarchy:

fuck-customers:

I present to you, literally my favorite yelp review at the SmartPet I used to work at.
It’s called CLOSING for a reason people

The person who locked the doors in their faces is my hero.

one time when i was closing, the customer was taking too long to order and it turned closing time before he got the chance so we let him know that we wouldnt be taking his delivery. he got really pissed and w had to explain to him that we were now closed and suggested that he order earlier in the future.

actualrealexplode7:

pyrlspite:

I made a discord bot that responds to all mentions of “todd” and “skyrim” with random todd howard edits but…. “bethesda” isn’t a keyword

duelbot:

cuddlyjew:

Brian Wecht: a summary

drearycheery:

drearycheery:

a lot of TERFs speak like they’re giving a speech in a movie. One time one of them referred to me & my “brethren”, which they then had to clarify meant trans people and their supporters. I still think about that and laugh sometimes. “you and your brethren” fedgyejgfjhdgsjhksa like what are we, viking warriors?

reblog if you are a viking for trans rights